Hurting

I live life one second at a time.  My mind keeps reminding me that I don't really want to be here.  I am tired of suffering in silence, but I refuse to bother anyone else with my issues and problems.  I can hear them now, smirking or rolling their eyes at what I would have to say.  They don't care, they don't know, they only want the check that comes after the session is over.  I can't write anymore of what I feel, cause I have said it all in paper.  My body and mind are numb, I ache for peace and silence.  I want the gushing sound of blood in my ears to stop, I want the kids to not have to see me this way, I want life to simply stop for me.  I want my family to be happy, no one would really miss me, or even remember me after a few days.  I want to have to stop getting up and thinking about things that I really just don't give a damn about anymore.  I want to stop wanting, I want to stop thinking, stop feeling, stop living and mostly just stop Hurting.