Letter to Hollywood

c/o Lisburn Institute
39 Castle Street
Lisburn
County Down
BT27 4SU
Northern Ireland


Whomever it may concern
Hollywood Studios
1041 N. Formosa Hollywood
United States of America

17 April 2009

Dear Sir/Madam,

As a 34 year old horror fan, who grew up on a healthy diet of classics such as: Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween, Hellraiser and The Fog, I find myself scraping the barrel of the film industry these days, in the hope of a measly morsel that might have escaped the chopping block, or worse still, the ungodly beast that is CGI.

It's been bad enough over previous years, with the constant release of 4th rate horror, boxed and hyped as the latest blockbuster, only to reveal itself as unimaginative drivel, drastically chopped on the editing block to make the 15 rating, and thus a bigger market, to make as much money as possible. But it would appear the gloves are well and truly off now, as the industry not only destroys the genre, bit by bit, in the present, but is systematically raping the legacy of the classics of the past, with the same lack of imagination and talent.

This very year has horror fans biting at the bit, as they await the release of a plethora of remakes that will undoubtedly serve as a painful reminder that the past should be left in the past. It's been understood for quite some time, certainly as far back as I can remember, that sequels are never quite as good as the original films they cash in on, and the same is even more true of re-writing and re-casting hits from years gone by.

I'm not going to tell you to give up on something that is no doubt a cash-cow, certainly not in the economic crisis we now find ourselves in, nor would I even argue that the classics shouldn't be re-written, nor would I even argue that all films released should meet my specific needs, but for the love of God and all that is holy, is it too much to ask for, that I get a half decent horror film every now and then?

I would argue that actually the horrors of the late 70s and right through the 80s were low cost. Often made on a shoe-string budget, starring actors that no-one had previously heard of, yet contained a certain charm, a certain untapped talent, and most importantly of all, were written by someone who actually knew the genre and wasn't afraid to explore their dark imaginations. So rather than losing the cash-cow, you may even gain a new one, more easily milked and much more rewarding.

I strongly, very strongly, believe that the horror genre should go back to its roots. I beseech you to get rid of CGI, which is often laughable at best (Hell Boy II anyone?), and even when done well, is still nothing more than good graphics, not really adding anything to the film itself, certainly not in comparison to the thousands of hours rendering time and millions of Dollars spent on its production. I implore you to get rid of star-studded casting, where the wage of the leading actors often means that anything less than phenomenal box office receipts results in a financial flop. Furthermore, how about concentrating on the writing itself? I would love to see money being pumped back into the buying of, and the creating of, well written scripts, by writers who know what they are doing and know the audience they're aiming for, not to mention possessing a passion for the job.

A perfect example of this working, is the box office monsoon that was Blair Witch Project. The cast were unknowns, there wasn't a smidgen of special effects throughout the whole film, and the overall budget for the entire film was mere pennies, compared to the US$248 the film made world-wide.

Whereas I might not be able to tug at your collective heart-strings, begging like the proverbial teenager who is unlucky enough to have ventured outside on a stormy night, on the anniversary of a hideous murder which has sparked ghost stories in the years that followed, and now finds herself in the grip of said ghost, I pray that the possible financial rewards might well tug at your bank manager's heart.

The film: Blair Witch Project was featured in the Guinness Book Of Records as having the highest profit-to-cost ratio of a motion picture ever, making over US$10,000 for every Dollar spent. Perhaps more importantly to the viewer, was actually very highly acclaimed by the critics. Not bad for a shoe-string budget.

Surely, in this financial climate, where every penny spent needs to be accounted for and spread as far as possible, you, the industry, should be looking for exactly this type of venture. As little investment as possible, with as big a return as imaginable?

It is my hope, of the highest order, that I'm not the only person writing you a letter of this sentiment, and that one day, somewhere in time, the opinion falls on the right ear and makes a ripple where needed. I longingly desire that somehow that ripple leads to a revolution within the horror genre, giving back to the viewers as a whole, something that was once cherished and enjoyed, rather than dreaded and lambasted.

Yours sincerely
(My name).