The Storn

I have been standing out in the pouring rain for a while now. It's envigorating, liberating, and the best I have felt in years. I look above me and see that the storm is clearing now. I can see small crevices of blue sky through the dark and grim clouds that have invaded my world for far too long.
Before, I never wanted to be out in the rain, I was scared of what might happen to me. Scared that I would catch a cold or never be warm and dry and feel safe again. He was my umbrella. My security from the mean and savage storm. I held tight to him, sad and hopeless, praying he would protect me from the storm's wrath.

The winds would come and I could feel him faltering from my grip. He would blow away as he pleased and leave me to cry tears that ran in unison with the rain on my face. And then he would come back to me, unsatisfied with whoever else had been holding onto him for warmth and cover. My umbrella eventually wanted only me to hold him and make sure the big bad storm didn't carry him away into the unknown.

I soon began to question my existence and my need for this little unbending rod between my hands. I wasn't moving forward in life, I knew there must be more out there than just the clouds and pounding rain. For months I contemplated letting my umbrella go, and sometimes i would for a minute or two, only to be frightened by the cold hard drops that hit my face, and grab on to him once more.

The day came when I looked up at the sheath that protected me from my insecurities and I saw the snags and rips in his underbelly. I knew our union couldn't last, he was forever unchanging and wouldn't keep me protected for long, I saw the future and new that one day soon it would be me keeping him safe, repairing the snags that he carelessly allowed. I realized it was time to let him go, off into the wind, hopefully to find someone new to hold him.

So here I stand, alone in the rain, really feeling for the first time. I'm letting my senses take it all in, knowing that as I trudge on the rain will eventually pass and it will have washed away my insecurities. Yes, someday soon I will see my rainbow and the sun will smile happily upon me.