A VISIT FROM MY GENIE!!

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New Prompt: A genie pops out of your magic bottle and says that because Writing.com is having its ninth birthday this week, instead of the usual three wishes, you get nine. Only there are some additional rules! What are the rules? What happens?

A VISIT FROM MY GENIE!

Last night, I woke up to a jarring, scary sound--it was my noisy genie--she just had to come around
to tell me that in honor of the BIRTHDAY that's a-foot, she'd give me NINE new wishes, with restrictions that she'd put
on the wishes I could make; at first I wasn't too sure it would be worth the hassle and frustration I'd endure!!
She said I couldn't ask for just any cheap old thing; I had to request the great stuff that she alone could bring!
We went over her list--it was far too limited, but then, I had a flash, and excitedly I said:
"Please give us peace on Earth and let us settle all the wars!! And silence politicians--They're all such dreadful bores!!"
I had a lengthy list and I was loathe to ask for more! I waited for the opportunity to settle up my score
and escape while still ahead; I simply said "good night" and stumbed hastily to bed!!
Off my lively genie went to honor my requests! All she brought back was COUPONS--said that she had done her best
to get my stuff, but I hadn't asked for regular wishes--she'd rather I'd have asked her for a set of Wedgwood dishes!