The Perfect Freedom Fry

The Perfect Freedom Fry

You will need Russet potatoes: biggest Mama-Jama Russets you can find in the store. Not the kind that look and resemble the shape of Cape Cod - no - you will need them the shape of .... say Kansas or Nebraska. Seriously. You want uniform-sized, proud-to-be-Idahoan taters say. If people question you - curiously - in the supermarket as to what in Ava Maria's name you are doing, holding up Russets like I do at Winn-Dixie or Shaws or Stop-N-Shop, just tell them that you are making ardent patriot potatoes.

" Oh ", they will say, as you nod sagely in their direction.

And you will take them home, all 15 of them, the size of footballs actually, wrapped in those grocery plastic bags with twist ties and such. You'll pay your bill, march off to the car, make haste to your homestead. You have a job to do. Family Sustenance, in a word or two.

Once home, you will scrub these taters, singly and with great care. You may use a veggie scrubber: I prefer to use a new scouring pad that has no soap attached (for the obvious reasons). Carefully, you will inspect them, over and under.

On your way home from the supermarket, you will have remembered the 5 rolls of Brawny paper towels, right? Of course you did, for in reading this you certainly realise that it is the simple, ferverent act of getting as much moisture out of that potato to begin with that will make this all worthwhile. Once made, these taters will win you fans across the household, across the street, in the living rooms and backyards of many local citizens.

No, I have not been drinking.

This act of removing moisture, tedious to some, will be repeated a number of times in the course of the next hour or so.

Once rinsed and scrubbed, you will take copious paper towels to each potato, lovingly so. Carefully, you will slice off each end, leaving what looks like a potato chip laying there in which was once the endpiece. Slicing down the middle length-wise, you repeat this process of division, keeping the idea that when flipping over the tater and cutting it in quarters, you will definitely wish to create tater wedges (or 'logs" as some rustic people describe them) of equal size, width, breadth and length. And despite that certain people use the terminology which reminds me of those who run sawmills near vast forest tracts, you will cut these taters into miniature "two-by-fours". Each and every one of them. Your family, thus your beloved community and country, are counting on you.

I know what I know.

And that magic moment arrives, your potatoes are now cut, cleanly, skin still on - and you are wiping down each and every one of them ... all FOUR sides with those ubiquitous paper towels.

That done, you rest, briefly, surveying the kitchen.

The day before, you will have brought your grill to high temperature, placed aluminum foil atop the grating, and poured sea salt atop the foil, closing the lid after adding wet wood chips of oak, alder ... or any fruitwood. You are making smoked salt is all. Yes, you heard me correctly. SMOKED salt. If you have any doubt about the decent impact of smoked salt, add it to some buttered pocorn while your children watch Shrek or you and your soulmate view an episode of "Eureka" say... or "The Colony". Bound to draw raves.... the popcorn that is...

Now that salt is drawn out of the cupboard where you put it just yesterday in anticipation of what comes next.

The potatoes, wiped down assiduously, now make their way to a large plate, also underlined with paper towels, and brought to the microwave. You will set the plate inside, set it on Hi Power for say about 4 minutes. If its a truly gargantuan, set the m-wave for 6 minutes.

These spuds will emerge steaming, their starches already beginning the process of cooking. You will see plentiful moisture aboard your "2X4"'s and once again, you must wipe down these potatoes pieces.

That done, have a large Ziplock bag waiting with olive oil. A 2nd bag with cornstarch. Toss the taters with oil briefly, then toss them lightly in starch. Place onto an oiled tray.

The potatoes will have residual oil and moisture from the still ongoing cooking process that you initiated in the microwave.

NOW is the time to add not just your smoked salt liberally, but other spices and herbs that you enjoy as well. I like to use Kirkland's "Sweet Mesquite" spice from Costco. Others might like Lawrie's Seasoning..... you get the picture.

Into the oven they go, into 375 degree heat for a time. Mine stay in some 25-35 mins but alas, I check on them like clockwork every five minutes or so.

The starch will draw out yet more moisture, leaving an amazingly crisp, perfectly seasoned fry. You will find your family now requesting this each week, perhaps even offering you help along the way.

If there is one thing I have discovered in all my years, its the fact that one's country is only as strong as the family that dines together.

Long live the Freedom Fry!