I'm A Vegetarian Vampire

I'm A Vegetarian Vampire


I’m a vegetarian vampire
Cursed with eternal life
Roaming the night in search of food
I can cut with a butter knife

My skin crawls, my stomach churns
at the thought of sinking my teeth
into the flesh of an animal’s neck
and sucking what runs beneath

From sundown to dawn, I dig around
in gardens and grocery trash
Collecting delectable, edible bits
to add to my sarcophagus cache

Strawberry nectar down my chin
Beet juice stains on my fingertips
Pomegranate rocks my world
Cherry Kool-Aid mustached lips

Alas, a vegetarian vampire does
indulge in one lament
For I’ve been told how delicious is
tomato sauce with a garlicky accent.