Talk-Show

Talk-Show
(words 309)

“So, Al, what was it like when you made it big?”

The pudgy man in the pin-striped suit shrugged.  “Eh, it was OK.”  Then he leaned forward, “Hey, have you seen those new iPhones?  Ain’t they great?”

The talk-show host smiled and tried to redirect the conversation, “Yeah.  But tell me what it felt like to run such a big organization?”

Al slumped back into his seat.  “Ya know?  I don’t like to take too much credit.  My ma always said, “Alphonse, don’t ever forget your roots.”  I was born in Brooklyn, didja know that?  My pa came over from Naples.  He was a barber in a joint on Park Avenue.  He cut the hair of a lotta swells.”  He smirked.  “I was known for some cuttin’ in my time, too.”

The audience laughed and there was a smattering of applause. 

After acknowledging the clapping with a grin, Al went on, “Running a business is the same anywhere.  The customer’s always right.  Ya give him what he wants, then if he don’t pay up, ya whack ‘im.”

More applause and laughter.

“So tell me, Al, what’s the most important thing you learned during your career?”

Al lost his good humor, and jabbed a finger at the audience.  “Pay yer freakin’ taxes!”

The host turned toward the spectators.  “Well, that’s all the time we have.  Everyone in our studio audience is going home with a copy of Al Capone’s book, The Tax-man Sent Me to Alcatraz.”  The crowd went wild.  “And his new manual, How-To Decorate Your Grave for a Boo!-tiful Halloween.”

The onlookers rose from their seats, then floated into the air, cheering.

“This is Merv Griffin, still King of the talk-shows, saying ‘Good night, and good spooking!’ from the set of Lifestyles of the Dead and Infamous.  And remember to tune in to our other shows, The Wheel of Misfortune and Leprosy! on every night in your area.”