Solitude

Solitude

Each time I think the end is near I wind up starting over again.  Emotionally, that is.  I can’t seem to handle my feelings very well.  Though I’m not exactly sure how I get there, a feeling of emptiness is preferable.  Thus, solitude is the answer I seek. 

So, where do I go from there?  Well, I have found that merely existing does have its advantages.  Not a whole lot is expected of me, and there’s no pressure.  Once in a while I sneak a peak at what it’s like to really live life.  And, these are moments I treasure and try to hold onto. 

This is how I live because a stress free life accommodates my mental illness.  I know from doing it so many times that writing about it is good therapy, even if it is a little uncomfortable.  You have to follow through.  Some of us require this kind of peace and quiet to do so.  This actually leads to exciting moments of inspiration when you’re all by yourself.

“Am I being negative?” I sometimes ask myself.  “No, I don’t think so.”

It takes courage to get in touch with your inner self.  I only hope that these writings of mine will inspire others to do the same.

                                                                          --  Pat Ryan  --