Amy

The terrible feeling surged through her body, yet again.  This time the intensity of what was trying to release itself from Amy's body took her by surprise.  She made it to the bathroom just in time, annoyed by the short-lived reprieve it had given her.

This is the third time today, she thought.

Amy rinsed out her mouth and splashed her ashen face with cold water.  She took a long hard look at herself in the mirror.  Her tired brown eyes looked back at her, beseeching her to concede to what has happening to her body.  Amy turned away, preferring to ignore reality.

"Amy, come downstairs!"  Her mother called.  "Dinner is ready."

Roused from her silent struggle between acceptance and rejection of her current state, Amy placed her hand on her belly, feeling the surge swell inside her.  The thought, the mere mention of food ignited a frenzied battle within her stomach.  Reluctantly, Amy started down the stairs.  Each step was forced, as though her feet knowing her dilemma rebelled against her natural acquiescence to her mother's directive.

Amy came to the bottom of the stairs, slightly out of breath.  One would have thought she had climbed the stairs instead of descended them.  She looked around the small modest house, wishing for the day when she could give her parents what they were unable to give themselves.

"Mom," Amy started as she walked into the kitchen.  "I'm really not that hungry."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Amy?"  Leslie asked as she put her hand on her daughter's forehead.

"Yeah," Amy lied, pulling away too quickly from her mother's touch.  She hoped her mother didn't notice this and would just leave it alone.

She did not.

"Finals are coming up soon and the last thing we need is you getting sick," Leslie noted, examining her daughter closely.

To her parents' delight, Amy received an acceptance letter to State, along with a full scholarship.  She knew her parents had great hopes for her, as they both dropped out of high school their senior year when Leslie became pregnant with Amy.  Her mother worked part-time at a dentist's office and her father owned a struggling auto repair shop.  Amy chance at a better future was ahead of her and both her parents were making a concerted effort to ensure nothing ruined it.

"I think we should make an appointment for you to see Shepp."

Shepp, as most people called him, was the family doctor and best friends with Jebb, Amy's father.  Despite taking separate paths to adulthood, Shepp going to college and eventually medical school while Jebb tried to support a family with little money, their friendship endured.

"Mom, I don't need to see a doctor," Amy pleaded.  I already know what's wrong.

"Amy, I've noticed a change in you.  Now I haven't said anything before, but you look pale and you're hardly eating.  I think you should see a doctor."  Her mother's words were final.

Amy held on to the kitchen counter, her stomach starting to churn again.  Beads of sweat quickly formed on her forehead.  She braced herself for what was about to happen.

No!  She cried, knowing she wouldn't make it to the bathroom this time.  Not now.

As her body convulsed, Amy brought forth not her sick but something else.  Something she could not have anticipated.  "I'm pregnant!"  She blurted out.  Perhaps she was finally admitting it to herself, but her mother was also on the receiving end of her admission.  Amy slapped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. 

"What?"  Her mother shrieked feeling waves of anguish engulf her body.  Before her, she saw a kaleidoscope of dreams destroyed, shards of glass representing the moments of her family's past and future, which were now shattered.  "How could this happen?"

Three months earlier....................................

Amy's hands trembled as she knocked on the door. 

I can't believe I'm actually doing this.

He answered the door, looking just as nervous as she felt.  While this was comforting as first, it made Amy feel uneasy.
Is he having second thoughts, she wondered, regretting she had come at all.

"You came."  He sounded relieved.

"I said I would."  Her voice was no more than a whisper.          

They met three weeks ago at the local coffee shop.  Amy liked to study there.  She enjoyed the hustle and bustle of people coming and going.  The silence at the library could be so loud; Amy would have a hard time concentrating on her work.  The coffee shop offered just enough activity to entertain her, while still allowing her to get some actual studying done.

To her surprise, he came in for a quick cup of coffee and sat down to talk to her.  Amy quickly found herself opening up to him; confiding in him her fears and insecurities.  Amy carried her parents' expectations of her future like an albatross around her neck.  She felt as though she missed out on one of the most important times of her life.  She was a teenager who never got to do teenage things.  For her, everything was always centered around school.  This was fine, but fun was never involved.  For the first time she expressed feeling an unfairness because of her parents' own mistakes in life.

Amy unexpectedly found solace in him.  Before he left, he promised to call her and continue their conversation.  He expressed similar feelings about his life and hoped he could provide her with support.  True to his word, he called Amy the next day and the day after that.  Their budding friendship remained a secret for different reasons.  Her parents were extremely protective of her and suspicious of any relationships that would distract her from her studies.