LESSON #7 - PART 2

SUNRISE CLASS                            LESSON #7
Punching out Adjectives & Adverbs

Assignment  Part 2            Using Concrete Nouns & Active Verbs
Post a 300 word excerpt from my port.  Re-write the excerpt replacing modifiers with concrete nouns and active verbs.  Only use ONE adjective or adverb (denoted in red) in the re-written draft. 


                                                    ORIGINAL EXCERPT FROM "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME ?" 

       The empty wine carafe on the counter displayed a prismatic glow of  orange and yellow hues as dawn erupted through the east window.  Her gaze was drawn to the distant, ice-capped mountains shrouding the deep ravine below.  She thought back to that particular sunrise two months ago and shuddered.

         Rebecca went down the hall to check on Ted.  After ten years, she knew his habits well and coaxing him out of bed was a daily ritual.  She paused at her daughter’s room and placed her hand on the closed door and smiled. 

         She entered the master bedroom and gazed at her lover and best friend.  Ted was lying on his side of the bed starring at the French doors that led to the hot tub on their secluded patio.

         “Good morning, honey.”  She plowed through the clothes on the floor and crossed the room.  As she bent down to meet his unshaven face, he opened his eyes and reluctantly blinked back the oblivion of sleep.

          “It’d be a shame to waste such a beautiful day lying around in bed.”  She reached out and touched the curl on his forehead.  “I’m worried about you, Teddy.”

         He sat up with effort and swung his legs over the side of the bed.  Running his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair, Ted frowned as the sun light flowed through the house, announcing another day. 

         “You’ve got to come see the sunrise this morning.  I don’t think I’ve seen such vivid colors.  Come on now; get up.  I mean it, mister.  Are you listening to me?”

         Ted stumbled to the master bathroom, snapped on the cold water faucet and splashed his stubbled face.  He raised his head and starred at the reflection of the stranger looking back at him. 
                                                                            **************************

                                                  REWRITTEN EXCERPT USING ONLY ONE ADJECTIVE

    The carafe on the counter reflected a glow as dawn erupted.  Her gaze was drawn to the mountains.  She thought back to that sunrise months ago and shuddered.

    Rebecca journeyed down the hall to check on Ted.  After ten years, she was familiar with his habits, and coaxing him out of bed was a  ritual.  She paused at her daughter’s room, placed her palm on the door, and smiled. 

    Entering their bedroom she beheld her lover and friend.  Ted was lying on the bed facing the doors that led to the hot-tub on the patio.

    “Good morning, Honey.”  She plowed through the clutter and crossed the room.  As she bent down to meet his  face, he rolled over and  blinked back sleep.

    “It’d be a shame to waste the day brooding in bed.”  She reached out and caressed a curl.  “I’m worried about you, Teddy.”

    He arose and swung his legs over the side of the bed.  Running his fingers through his  hair, Ted frowned as the sunlight inundated the house, announcing the day. 

    “You’ve got to come see the sunrise.  Come on now; get up.  I mean it, mister.  Are you listening to me?”

    Ted stumbled to the  bathroom, snapped on the faucet and splashed his face.  He raised his head and starred at  the stranger looking back at him.