The Inevitable Intruder

The Inevitable Intruder
word count: 475

“Holy…how did you get in? The door was locked. The alarm system was on.”

“Don’t look so shocked, Commissioner, and take your hand away from your heart. I’m not gonna ask you to recite the pledge of allegiance.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not polite to point, especially with a gun? Put that thing back in your shoulder holster and take a closer look. You know who I am.”

“I do?”

“You’ve seen me before, lots of times. Think back. You saw me at the Taylor homicide investigation this morning.  I just wasn’t there for you at the time. I realize you’re not used to seeing anyone sitting on your sofa when you come home in the evening, but you knew I’d show up for you, sooner or later.”

“My God! You’re, you’re…”

“Don’t be afraid. Go ahead. You can say it.”

“You’re Death, aren’t you?”

“Darn. Here it is, Halloween, and I forget to wear a mask. But you woulda figured it out, anyway. Can’t fool an old detective. What gave me away, the fact that you can kinda see through me?”

“Why are you here? Why tonight?”

“Wow, like I never get that question. Come on, you know why. Age, booze, too much red meat, fried foods, lack of exercise, stress... It’s your time, man. Stop looking around as if someone’s gonna come in and rescue you. There’s no Batman and Robin to save your butt. It’s just you and me, pal, right here in your cozy living room. So, settle down. Why don’t you go over to the bar and fix us both a drink? I noticed you have a nice cognac over there in that fancy decanter.”

“I can barely walk. My legs are going numb. I can't even feel my feet.”

“Yeah, what can I say? Dying will do that. Just be careful, will you? I’d hate to see you spill that good stuff all over your expensive Persian rug. Geez, look at all the intricate needle-work. Rosette motif. That thing must’ve set you back at least twenty thou.”

“Don’t I get a last wish or something? Can’t I call my daughter?”

“Is that her in the eight-by-ten on the end table? Classy frame. Sorry. Hey, careful there, you’re startin’ to shake. Thanks for the drink. Oh, Waterford crystal. . . I'm impressed. How about a little toast?”

“A toast?”

“Yeah. It’s the least I can do for you before you take your last breath. Let’s see…Over the lips, over the gums, look out graveyard, here he comes. That’s it, buddy. Bottoms up. Here, Commissioner, let me take that glass before you drop it. Commissioner? Oh, well. Hate to drink and run, but I’ve got places to go and people to kill. Don’t bother getting up, I’ll let myself out.”


                                                                                            The End.