Never In A Million Years

            I never thought it would end like this.  Never in a million years.  I never thought that I would die at the hand of a lover, and never suspected she was two-timing me.  And then, as I stood, my back pressed up against the cold, brick wall that lines the entirety of dark alleyway that appears endless in the impenetrable darkness, staring into the barrel of my own Colt-45, I realized the clues were everywhere.  I missed every one.

         The woman across from Detective Jay Alexander was petite—to say the least.  No more than five foot three, her miniscule figure culminated in the hourglass-shaped curve of her waistline that was barely visible in the dim light cast by the faintly glowing lamp across the street.  She stood facing Alexander with both hands wrapped around the cold, grey barrel of the old Colt-45.  What little light could penetrate the perpetual darkness that enveloped every inch of the alleyway cast eerie shadows on both of their faces.

         “How could you do this to me babe?” Alexander choked slightly as he started to question his feminine attacker, “I gave you everything baby.  You wanted pearls, well damn look at that big flashy piece of jewelry that’s dangling around your neck.  You wanted to go see that new Hitchcock film, you know the one with that cute broad Grace Kelly, you bet your life we saw it.  And you wanted me to help you murder your boss, and now that that’s done your just gonna drop me to the curb, shoot me and leave me to picked apart piece by piece by the rats?  That’s low baby—even for you.”

         “It was never about us.  You needed a getaway from that bitch of a wife that you go home to every night and I wanted an easily discarded pawn that I could cut ties with after we murder my boss.” She moved a few steps closer into the light.  Her pale blue eyes and flowing blond hair became visible out of the shadows of her hood.  “I never loved you.”

         These last four words hit me hard; they steamrolled into my being, annihilating any feelings for her that still lingered in my heart.  I had felt a strong connection with her over the past few week; we had so much in common.  Both of our fathers left us when we were young; both of mothers were abusive alcoholics; both of our lives were filled with a mundane sense of inferiority that was only amplified by our home lives: my pretentious wife who incessantly berated me, and her seemingly sexist boss who refused to acknowledge her talents.  Or so I thought.  It was as this revelation of her deceptive rouge was finally beginning to sink in that I noticed a ghostly figure out of the corner of my eye.  Perched on the rickety, metal balcony above her head was a man in a long trench coat that swung low and ended beneath his knees.  Sensing his presence struck a confidence in me.

         “I get it Ginelle. It was all about the benefits.  But for me, it was about something more.  It was about finally taking control in my life.  Every day I go out and investigate useless crime scenes in an effort to bag a hopeless vagrant that had the guts to do something extraordinary.  In a sick, almost perverse way I admired these criminals.  I had always wanted to commit a crime, to take control, to do something adventurous for once.  It seemed like a miracle that you miraculously showed up at that precise time.  I knew that your crazy murder scheme would inexorably lead to my demise, but I never could quite understand how. Until now.  Put down the gun Ginelle.  You know you don’t need to kill me.  Come on baby.  You know as soon as you pull that trigger you are gonna be hunted.  And the police will stop at nothing until they find who killed one of their own.  What’re you going to do, ostracized from your peers, cold, dirty, and alone rotting in a cement cell serving a life sentence for a double homicide?  I don’t know why I’m so flustered.  You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger baby.  You aren’t a man.  You’re just a woman.”

         “That’s where you’re wrong Jay.  I’m not going to jail, oh on the contrary.  I’m gonna kill you, put the gun in your hand and fix the crime scene—it’s your gun, so they’ll all suspect suicide—and I’ll run off to Mexico with my money and a new life.  Who’s gonna stop me? Huh?”

         I could sense the sweat starting to form along her brow and slowly run down the side of her face like the slow trickle of a broken faucet.  I didn’t care.  There was no way I was getting harmed in this situation, not with my man up in on the balcony above.

         Her hand tightened around the butt of the gun as she raised it to his head level and stepped the last step, closing the gap between them.  The icy barrel of the revolver pressed against his forehead and sent a shiver down his spine.  She slowly increased the pressure of the gun to his forehead as she began to speak once more, “Do you know how to play Russian roulette Jay?  The premise is simple.  I just spin this little guy right here, and you hope to God that there isn’t a bullet in the chamber when it clicks into place.  I think we should play.”

         “Well, you know I’m a gamblin’ man.”

         “You sure you wanna gamble with your life?”

         “Never been more sure in my entire life.”

         On the exterior, I tried to stay cool and collected so as not to reveal my true anxiety.  But my heart was racing faster than the train that I first met her on.

         Ginelle spun the cylinder and it stopped after three rotations.

         Click.  I was still alive.  I couldn’t help but begin to panic.  Why is the man on the balcony not stepping in?

         She spun it again.

         Click.  Again, lady luck was looking out for me.

         “Let’s face it babe.  I’m not meant to die here.  So why don’t you just run on back to my place, put on an apron, and cook us a fine dinner like you’re supposed to?”

         “Ugh men.”

         She spun it the third and final time.  The man on the balcony descended the ladder silently and crept within three feet of he.

         Click.  I couldn’t believe it.  The chances that out of three spins I would still be alive were astronomical, but nevertheless I was alive.  All feelings of passion for the heartless woman staring me in the face were gone. 

         “I knew you couldn’t do it.  Give me my gun back baby.  Women shouldn’t get their hands dirty.”

         “Now, now, play nice children.” A deep voice from the shadows chimed in to the surprise of the woman, “we wouldn’t want any messes to clean up now would we?”

         Finally.  I was saved.

         “Who’s asking?  Just get on out of here, this is between me and Mr. Alexander here.”

         “Ahh, how young.  How naïve.  Didn’t anyone ever tell you to respect your elders?”

         A cab passed by illuminating the alleyway.  The scarred face of the mysterious man was revealed and hidden again in a veil of darkness and shadow.

         “Get lost.”

         As she finished her words there was a small flash and her body went limp.  Her once beautifully curved figure was now lifeless trash lying on the ground.  The blood began to pool around her feet and it spread, quickly enveloping the area.

         Before I could understand what had just occurred, it was too late.  I saw another flash and that was it.  The end.  You know they say you life flashes before your eyes before you die?  Well that’s not entirely true.  The only thing that was running through my head as I fell to the ground, just as Ginelle had done only moments earlier, was I never thought it would end like this.  Never in a million years.