Stardust Clouds the Hourglass

Cassidy watched him in the mirror behind the bar. Donny Lamont, was once “the only guy I will ever love". His name was written all over her notebook and their friends assumed the two would marry and live happpily in the suburbs. The bourbon was the dark honey shade of his curly hair. His eyes, a little deeper set with a few wrinkles, were still a beautiful topaz. She remembered that cold, wet night in his Nova. It was 1971 and they were kids playing grown up games.

It was snowing, the heater wasn’t working but his warm hands felt wonderful on her naked skin. He was so ready and she was silk. Still the pain of penetration was new. She bit her lips, trying not to cry, swallowing blood and teardrops. When he was done, he kissed her, tasting her salty pain.
“Baby, why didn’t you tell me this was your first time?"
“It’s okay now, it just hurt at first,” her voice sounded like a little girl.

So many years ago, over thirty yet it seemed like yesterday. She even had the dress, how strange is that? She sure couldn’t fit in it.

Suddenly, she wished she had not come. High school reunions were ridiculous. Everyone sized each other up; how much weight each had gained, how well they had aged. Who was a lawyer, physician, a housewife or city sewage worker?
They were pulling out pictures of little Debbie, Cash Jr. and what college they were in now plus many had grandchildren. It was almost like high school all over again, fitting people in their “groups”; the athletes, brains, social butterflies, cheerleaders, and the outcasts. Cassidy had never quite fit in a clique.

Here they were, in the bar, indulging in alcoholic confidence. The reunion started with Happy Hour, a game called “Forget me not” plus Karaoke, then dinner, and dancing until the wee hours. Tomorrow was a golf tournament for charity then a barbeque for families.

Now she had to know about Donny. They had gone steady most of high school. She had worn his ring with wax in it. They were named “Best Couple” in the yearbook. He had been accepted at Dad’s alma mater, Duke and she was going to community college, studying social science.

Oh the promises, to write every day, call and see each other often. The first year they did and then his letters stopped coming. She cried every night for a month but was too embarrassed to call him.
She poured her love into school and work with an occasional date. She transferred to Tulane and graduated from the School of Medicine. She found her passion helping rehabilitation patients after strokes and accidents. She loved watching people work hard to resume their lives.

The physicians, social workers, nurses, therapists came up with a plan, and shared it with the patient. The patient was the quarterback, if they didn’t carry the ball, the plan changed. It was like making a stew with the flavor constantly changing until it was right for that person. Her patients and staff were like family but it was lonely in her bungalow when she finally went home.

Cassidy decided to make a move. Donny was watching the football game so she put her hands over his eyes, “guess who?”
“Bugs Bunny?”
“That one will cost you.”
It was so easy to talk, “want to try again?”
“You still wear the same perfume, Cass, expensive stuff, Chloe”.
“I can’t believe you remember,” she laughed.
“It broke me to buy it for you four times a year.”
“I deserved it.”
“Yes, you did.”
“So what happened to us?”
“I’m alone. Let's have fun together.”
So they did Karaoke together as Ike and Tina with “Proud Mary” They played nostalgia games and won prizes. They sat down to the customary chicken dish with an exotic name, talking rather than eating.

Now that people were feeling loose, the liquor was flowing, the ballads began. It was the same tunes played at their proms. It all felt so right, her body moved with his just like it used to. They fit together. He kissed her neck, sending shivers down her spine. He pressed her close and she could feel his desire.

In a moment of clarity, Cassidy realized she was answering all his questions and he was avoiding hers.
She wanted this fairytale to be real. She knew it was time to ask the hard question.
“Donny, are you married?”
He lowered his eyes and couldn’t look at her.
Cassidy was surprised at her own reaction.
“I feel sorry for your wife.”

She walked away with pride. She wouldn’t let this hurt. She mingled with the crowd and had a great time.
Looking back reminded her to celebrate the present.

By Kathie Stehr