Enough

Lily could feel his eyes on her back as she walked away from him and towards the train station. The tears were coming and she fought the almost overwhelming urge to turn around and run back to him. Maybe she was being too hasty. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal after all. Maybe she was making too much of things.

As she sat on the hard plastic seat, she let the movement of the train lull her into the perfect state for clear thinking. She thought about Craig and the night before. She remembered the look on his face as he crawled through her window and crashed onto the floor. She remembered his vacant expression and hooded lids. The sound of his retching all over the carpet, and the bed, and the desk, and in the laundry bin would never leave her ears.

But the worst part had come later, after he had lain in bed and was sleeping restlessly. That was when the crying started. He spent half the night balling his eyes out. The sound was awful. It was this awful choking, heaving, sob that made her think that his heart or lungs would just give out on him at any moment. There were moments when the crying and the puking would overlap and she was sure he’d choke or suffocate on his own tears and vomit and die. There were times when the crying and puking were accompanied by spastic violent shivering and convulsions and his eyes would seem to roll into the back of his head. It was frightening and she had spent the entire night praying that he would be okay.

She couldn’t do that anymore.

Enough was enough.