Journal - July 12 - July 13

Jul 12 >>> 10:51 >>> Placement 267 >>> Student 6379857 >>>  043 

To establish roles and set the tone, Char Thurgood lingered over the Judas journal as I stood waiting. To break the silence, I asked: ”So that is what you meant by not awakening the beast?”

When silence answered back, I cut to Hecuba. (reference to McBeth) “I appreciate the opportunity and personal attention. However, by the turn of events, the answer seems obvious. Journalism assumes its fateful role as a childish dream.”

And just like CanUniversal, her response equally surprised me.

Apparently, principles historically suffer when employers threaten termination. My refusal to compromise raised the bar of the Coop program. Honestly, I think the Chair shares either mutual sentiments about CanU or simply a weakness for dreamers jousting windmills.

The 'need to heal' research at the Queen St. Mental Health Clinic  impressed her the most. The journal redeemed itself. Ha!

She explained one's perspective distorts interpretation of the truth. She chose CanU specifically for my internship because they brainwash employees. They fit them with company glasses to report the news through their eyes. Consequently, eyes turn blindly to breakthrough inspirations and see only as trained.

Truth transcends blinders, beliefs, ideals ...

And unlike CanU, she awaits the ending! "But that will never happen now," she said. "Lawyers with too much time on their hands, consider every possibility. Contest rules claim ownership upon submission."

"Let me tell you a funny story,” I said, “ about time, lawyers and rules."

Termination placed my summer work credit in jeopardy.  A possible make-up offered a second chance.

"You have to go to the source," she said.

"Is that truly necessary?" I asked. “I have more than enough photos to personalize the writing.”

“The possibility exists you currently read the stories as a sign to return because that is what you are looking for. I read it differently. Remove your blinders. Understand your biases. Explore the inspiration of the writing without the distortion. The original inspiration holds the answer whether fate is at work. If you return empty handed, then return to your life with closure having tried. As a bonus, you have the inspiration for the one and only big book in you.”

“Could I not do this over the phone?” I said.

“If you refuse to go, you already have your answer. Keep the journal up to date,” she said. “Think of it as one of the pieces to your puzzle? And while you're there, pick up a sponsor. Good writing does not sell itself. And be wary of the beast."

Left with no choice, I'm off. Where am I going again?


Jul 13 >>> 03:59 >>> Placement 267 >>> Student 6379857 >>>  044

Unbelievable!  Passing Chair Thurgood's test to proceed hinged on failure with CanUniversal. Only by waking and devouring by the beast, presents the opportunity to experience rebirth.

[Aside] Unedited streaming consciousness concerns me. Under the magnifying glass, word choice calls for care. Temptation lurks to manipulate the truth into what others wish to read (as in the preceding paragraph. Ha!).

Taking this further pushes ethical boundaries. The answer lies ahead. The journey, however, risks never returning; to the life I have built and quite possibly, journalism too. All bets ride on a place I cannot even find on a map.

If a need ever existed for inspiration, God now is the time.