Claustrophobia

Written when I was fourteen.....March 2008....

The walls of my Mind are closing in
There’s an eerie silence yet such a din
Dunno where I’m going, I’m losing my way
Dunno if I can face another day
I’m fighting to breathe
Fighting for what I believe
To live my life as I want
I was naïve when I thought nothing could daunt
Me or my will
I’m falling apart but still,
Everyone’s just following the throng
As if there’s nothing wrong
As if I just don’t exist
As if I‘ve been stricken off gods goodwill list
I’m being crushed breath the weight of my Mind I know
I’m trying to run but there’s no where to go
I’m screaming for help but no one can hear
You all are deaf to fear
And the walls push closer
I’m being steamrolled by a bull dozer
I sink down on my knees
I beg, I plead
But the walls squeeze me to death
I draw a few last breaths
Is anybody listening?
Does it matter that I’m dying
Can anyone save me from sinking?
This Claustrophobia’s an addiction worse than drinking
I might as well give up resistance
Give in to its insistence
I’m on the verge of giving up
I guess I’ve had enough
Just then someone pulls me out
And hugs away my doubts
Guess I survived another day
But how long will it be before I stray?
As I breathe fresh air
I cannot believe I was so near
To losing myself so completely
To forgetting everything so neatly
So am I alright?
Now, ready for another fight?
I don’t think so
Dunno if you know
What the harsh reality is?
No, it ain’t just bliss
Coz, I simply have to battle on
With the walls all alone
If not  today, then tomorrow
Coz, this is my bane, my sorrow
Can’t finish it, no matter how hard I try
I’m so used to it now, I dun even cry
You see, it doesn’t matter anymore
There is no cure
Coz when all is done & said
These walls inside my head
Just come closer.