A Trapped Moment of Doubt

         I was trapped. My heart pounded in my chest. I could literally feel the sweat popping out of the pores on my forehead. Keeping my eyes on the brick wall where I knew my life would change, I ignored the fifty pairs of eyes that were trained on me. My thoughts were racing so quickly in my mind that they seemed to come at once, creating a mixed-up jumble of doubt and confusion. With one resounding chorus, I asked myself all the questions that led up to this one single moment in time.

What am I doing here?

Am I crazy?

What could I have been thinking?

Why did I ever agree to this?

Will my life ever be the same?

         All the doubts and fears had converged on me at once. I fought the urge to scream and run as hard as I could. Somehow, somewhere deep inside, I knew if I could just survive the next moment I might be okay. All the blood seeped from my face. Just as quickly, I flushed so red it would have made a beet jealous.



         Just keep your eyes on the gate of that brick wall, I told myself. That gate could be my escape or my capture. Don’t think about this being the last moment of your life. Just focus and don’t pass-out. So many things were happening at once that it became increasingly hard to think. People had gathered around me in a semi-circle. They were all looking at me. They were all accusing me. Did I actually look that guilty? Could they read my thoughts in my expression? I knew in my heart that at least half of them were ready to grab me should I suddenly make a break for it. The other half were probably waiting for me to collapse. I sensed that the man standing behind me; whom I considered my best friend, was ready to catch me either way.



         A flash bulb popped with inculpation. The woman who had been crying hysterically chose that moment to stop. The entire group that threatened to smother me now gasped in unison. I actually believe it was that one moment, when everyone caught his or her breath together, that saved me. I was ready to sprint through the park, leaping over benches and dodging trees; ready to run and continue to run as fast as I could until I was clear from this life-changing event.

Then it happened.

         From her hiding place behind that brick wall Jo Dee stepped into view and all my doubt vanished. My precious bride revealed herself in all her white gowned splendor. She was the most beautiful sight I had ever laid eyes on. Her dress, pure white and satin, was remarkable. Tiny glints of sunlight twinkled as she moved. Beautifully laced sleeves and a flowing veil completed the effect. My angel walked proudly from that bricked entrance and that moment, that had been full of dread, became my finest hour. Pride burst from my chest like a flock of doves exploding gracefully into the air.



         In that moment, I knew there could never have been any doubt at all. That was our moment and it will last a lifetime, just as moments of magic should. The music started and my bride, Jo Dee and I, started our new life together.



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