Watch Out for Mailboxes

         Grandma sits on an old worn couch with her walker in front of her. A trio of small children, a boy aged five, a girl aged four, and another boy aged two surround her. It's story time with Grandma. Story time with this grandma is always an interesting experience.

         Now children, shut yer yaps. I wanna tell ya a story... Now, now... now...

         Grandma dozes off. The five-year-old boy pokes her in the shoulder and the four-year-old girl kicks her foot until she wakes up. Grandma continues like nothing has happened.

         Once upon a time, there was... a puppy. And that puppy was very strange. And that puppy was...

         GRAMMA! I wanna play video games!

         Hush up, Justin. Video games will make your teeth rot out. Anyhow, the puppy's name was Pyper. She was a good little puppy. And she liked to play and sing and chase dragonflies. Her best friend was a mouse named Magnus. I know. I was that mouse in the story.
         One day, she and Magnus were going to hunt down dragonflies as usual when...

         GRAMMA!

         What do you want, Anna?

         Nothin'.

         SHADDU... I mean, hush then. Anyway, Pepper Puppy and Mangy Mouse went out hunting dragons like I said. And a huge one came out and blew fire at them! It was frightening. I know. I was Pyper in the story.
         The dragon's name was Denver. He was a crazy old dragon. He demanded that Pansy Puppy and Mindy Mouse cook and clean for him all day long, and turn the tv on for him, as if he couldn't do anything! And he didn't make much money, and...

         GRAMMA! I'm hungry!

         If you want something to eat, make it yourself, Amy. Hush now. As I was saying, the tree ate Dan the Dragon all up.
         But then, Pyper Puppy discovered caffeine and sugar, and caffeine and sugar made Pyper Puppy into Hyper Pyper Puppy. And Peppy Puppy was always jumping around, and making noise, and would never shut up, and so she and her two brothers ran into the barn and the barn didn't like them very much. I know. I was the barn door in the story. And what a time it was...

         GRAMMA! I wanna play PS2. And Wii. And...

         JAKE! I can't believe your language. You say, "I want to use the bathroom". On with my story. Like I had said, Parry Puppy and Mindy Mouse went all about the city, eating everything they could find. Always eating, and eating, and eating... I should know. I was the food in this story. And they got very, very fat, and very, very lazy. And they never did anything with their lives and never took care of their poor old mother.

         GRAMMA! Grampa says you need to go get the mail. The mailbox is overflowing.

         Jeremiah, you can go tell your old grandpa that he can move his lazy butt and get the mail himself.

         GRAMMA! Mama says you're not allowed to use grownup words around us!

         Butt! Hehehehehaha, butt!

         Hush, Audrey. Be quiet... baby. Fine. Jack, tell your grandfather to move his hard-work-challenged butt and get the mail himself. As I was saying, the puppy whatever her name was and the mouse whatever his or her name was traveled throughout the land and then the mailbox ate them.

         GRAMMA!

         GRAMMA!

         BUTT!

         The end. And the moral of the story is... watch out for mailboxes. They might eat you. I know. I was a mailbox eaten by a mailbox in the story.


Inspired by a challenge from Storm Machine to write 500 words about puppy, a dragon, a mouse, and a mailbox.