Bear Drives into Tollbooth - Humor

HEADLINE:  Bear Drives Car Into Tollbooth

Old Faithful, WY

One of Yellowstone National Park's famous grizzly bears somehow was able to get into a car, guide it down a road several hundred feet and ram a tollbooth.  The bear then escaped before Park Police arrived.  It's injuries, if any, are unknown.

Witnesses described the wayward driver as being part of the Ursus arctos horribilis group with brown fur, standing about six feet tall, with a large round head, big eyes and displaying a silver tag on its ear. None indicated that the bear was in any way aggressive and did not growl or show its teeth at any time.

Accounts vary as to how the bear got in the car and was able to set the car in motion.  Most agree, however, that the owner had left the car running with the door open as she had walked over to a nearby overlook to snap a picture.  when she turned around, the bear was already driving down the road sitting upright in the driver's seat.

The car was a light yellowish tan colored station wagon with a white interior.  Park Rangers speculate that the bear had entered the car in search of food and accidentally set it into gear.  Others admitted that the car looked like a Hostess Twinkie, and the bear may have been looking for the cream filling.

The tollbooth was severely damaged and is no longer considered safe to use.  The Park service estimates it will take $50 - 70,000 to replace.  At press time it was still unclear whether the bear was trying to escape the  park or just going for a joy ride.

The car had major front end damage.  Neither the owner nor tow truck driver would speculate on the repair costs.  A call to the owner's insurance company responded that they could not provide an estimate on the phone and would need to send an adjustor to provide a number.  They  were unsure of whether the owner's insurance policy would consider this  a stolen car incident.

That National Park Service has had to refute stories that it is harboring an escaped circus bear that it trained to embarrass tourists who don't follow park rules.  This after another incident where a bear supposedly picked up a trash bag thrown from a car window and ran after the car. The driver seeing the bear coming panicked and drove off the road.  When the bear got to the stopped car, it placed the trash on the hood, went to the driver's window where the trash had been thrown out of and growled for several minutes.  It then backed off to the edge of a nearby wood and waited until the driver got out of the car and took the trash back in the car.

The Park Service also is reminding everyone that they will not tolerate stories of a bear wearing a necktie, pilfering picnic baskets, and being accompanied by a much smaller bear.  They have demonstrated that most pictures taken of these incidents have been altered by PhotoShop and are not credible.

There have also been unverified reports of bears coming from behind trees in winter to scare snowmobile drivers who often abruptly turn and crash.  Investigations have found no evidence of bears, although there were occasionally indications that a branch was dragged across the snow into the forest.  Besides, bears hibernate in winter, or are they taking driving lessons?

THIS ARTICLE IS TOTALLY FICTIONAL and was written in Dec 2009

However, Stranger than Fiction as they say:

Check out this July 24, 2010, News Article

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/07/23/colorado.bear.car/index.html?hpt=T2