Bitterness spilled

Once I was told "You can be
anything you want to be!"
This I did take time to ponder,
it made no sense at all to me.

Could I ever be a child again,
without the beatings and pain,
is this possible I did wonder
and what would I truly gain.

What if this time I was loved
instead of beat and shoved,
this time if my parents cared
and I was indeed truly loved.

No state would take me away
making me an orphan stay
in a dorm with others shared
who saw the young as prey.

Not know rape and abuse
and every foul kind of use
To live a happy normal life
not one so overly diffuse.

Would I then have a chance
at finding love and romance
perhaps even a loving wife
and we could laugh and dance.

To not have the scars there
that so many people scare
to be like you normal folk
live without constant despair.

I can not be what I want to be
you all make sure of that, see
society wants me beat and broke
on that you seem to all agree

How can one who suffered so
dare think he is not far below
those of you who have it good
and always have you know.

I can not be allowed to stand,
be beat down with foot and hand,
not allowed in the brotherhood
of being just an ordinary man.

You can be what ever you see
if you are viscous enough to be,
have the money to pay the fee,
not born poor and nice like me.