Forks getting stuck in peoples hands

Once upon a time lived a vampire called Edward. He got a fork stuck in his hand. He died

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Once upon a time lived a vampire called Jasper. He got a fork stuck in his hand. He didn't die.

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Once upon a time llive vampires called Edward, Car-person, Alice, Emitt, Lady and Jasper and Toenail. They all got forks stuck in their hands. All of them died except for Toenail and Jasper. Jasper married some random girl in a country on the other side of the planet IE New Zealand.

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Once upon a time in a land of magic lived a little magical firefly by the name of Turnip. Turnip was in love with Broccili, a she firefly. They were flying around when a giant fork fell on them. They died.