She's not here right now,
so it's my time to vent.
Making me go to the mall,
with her, is "mallicious" intent.
I go with her because she says,
it's my "husbandly" duty.
But, just between you and me,
The point is really mooty.
But away we go, anyway,
I admit that I'm a sap.
Before I can even start to blink,
we're heading straight into the Gap.
After only twenty minutes,
Like, I'm ready to split.
Does she really need me to say,
"Those jeans will never fit?"
I try to be good, you know,
I wouldn't want to fail her.
But please, dear, say it ain't so,
we're heading into Ann Taylor!
Just three stores later,
it's lunch time I am told.
Kinda hard for me to hear,
as a migraine takes it's hold.
In and out of consciousness,
and my ears beginning to ring.
My love says something like,
"Sale at Macy's on everything."
Sense of humor beginning to ebb,
Yes, dangerously low on the "yuk-yuks."
I have yet another jumbo coffee,
They're running a tab for me at Starbucks.
One last store we have to hit,
for my daughter's wedding (bridal).
At this point I really don't much care,
my disposition: suicidal!
The cost of "day after" shopping,
has clearly hit me pretty hard.
To think I spent all that time,
Finding her just the "right" gift card!