The Borderline Driver

The Borderline Driver

Yesterday I was in the parking lot of the super market. There was a car in front of me in the parking lane. She was waiting, and WAITING for another shopper to unload her groceries, put her cart in the return cage and, at long last, get into her car and leave. My face was red with fury! I was muttering all kinds of curses upon her house! How could anyone be so STUPID? I mean, there was another parking slot about sixty yards further down. She saved what, maybe twenty-two seconds of walking, while tying ME up for three and a half minutes!

I went into the store; finished my shopping and got into the shortest check-out line. Then I judged that the line to my left was shorter. I switched lines. The lady checking out had an item with no price. The cashier turnd on her blinking light, called for a manager from the clothing department and WAITed, shifting from one foot to the other. My face was red with fury! I was muttering all kinds of curses upon her house! How could anyone be so STUPID? I mean, didn’t she even NOTICE that the item had no price tag?

FINALLY I was back in my car heading home, still muttering and cursing under my breath. My blood pressure had probably spiked. The blast of adrenalin had probably put undue pressure on my nerve endings. My whole afternoon was ruined!

What should I have done? This is not rocket science. I should have gone to the supermarket when I was NOT in a hurry! Then I could have watched, with a smile, the other shoppers who were red with fury.

It’s the same all over town. Some poor soul is doing thirty seven miles an hour in a 45 speed zone. Or maybe he’s going down the exit ramp, and he STOPS before merging onto the freeway, blissfully unaware of the quarter-mile merge lane! Or maybe he puts his right turn signal on and slows to a near stop on a city street. Then he cruises slowly by the turn and does the same thing at the next turn, before eventually finding the street he’s looking for. Or maybe he pulls in front of me just as I have found the shortest line of traffic waiting at the stop-light. My face gets red with fury! Well…you get my drift. Meet the borderline driver, or the borderline shopper or the borderline idiot in the cafeteria line. He’s praying about whether to get the lemon pie or the chocolate!

Let me just mention that all of the above stories are past tense for me. I had eye surgery to repair a torn retina, on my good eye. My other eye has never been very strong. I’m waiting for the good eye to heal. I'M driving VERY carefully these days. I'm making traffic changes with the utmost caution. I’m sure that, from time to time, the driver behind me feels his face turning red with fury. He’s wishing a thousand curses upon my house. But for me? I will always leave home a bit early. I will always shop when I’m not in a hurry. I will always have patience with the borderline driver in front of me. I mean what the heck…I’ve been retired for four years! I’m pretty good at counting my blessings.