A Bad Penny

Lifting the scarf, I sip the beer, doing something to avoid his question.

“Jen?”

“Mm hmm?” I look over, pretending to hear him for the first time. It wasn’t hard to believe with the sound of the surf beating my ears as it crashes into the beach.

“Where’s your ring?” A hint of panic begins to take root in his voice. He noticed it sooner than I’d hoped. I wanted to enjoy the freedom from its weight for a little while before the inevitable confrontation. I take another pull from the beer.

“Jen! Where’s your engagement ring?”

I lean over the side of my beach chair and push the beer bottle into the sand. I recline back and close my eyes. “It’s gone, Steven.”

I don’t have to look at him to know the expression that’s on his face. It would be the same confused look I’d witnessed countless times before when I said it was over between us.

“What do you mean, it’s gone?” His voice is serious. He, of course, knows what I mean. Better than anyone, he’s well versed in what I’m capable of. I open my eyes and scan the beach – thankfully most of the beach dwellers have already packed and left.

The sun descends on the horizon. It’s going to be a pity to miss such a sunset. The reds and purples are already moving in. Soon the sky will be overcome by them. I resign to my fate and look over at Steven, perched on the edge of his chair. I lift my left hand and wiggle my empty ring finger.

“Just like I said – it’s gone.” I suppose one might think it’s cruel of me, but it’s the only way it might finally work.

Steven grabs my purse from the sand. “Don’t fuck with me, Jen. Where did you put it? I saw it on you a couple of hours ago.”

Of course, he did – he is always looking at the goddamn thing – thought he finally had me for good. I lift myself out of the chair, snatching the purse from his hands.

“It’s getting late. I’d like you to take me back to my apartment … I threw it in the ocean.”

He shoots up and plants my forearm in a vice. He cuts into my eyes with a murderous gaze. It’s working better than I dreamed. Even when he caught me in bed with his best friend, he hadn’t had the balls to grab me like this. Maybe he wasn’t so spineless after all.

“Let go of me.” I try to jerk my arm away – it moves barely an inch. He’s really pissed this time.

“You threw it in the ocean,” he says matter-of-factly. I try to pull away again.

“You’re hurting me.”

“The drama. Always with the drama. Couldn’t just give the ring back and say ‘no thanks’. Instead,” he says getting louder, “you throw it in the fucking ocean!” He casts my arm away, and then starts shaking his head. “Why can’t you just be normal?” he says more to himself than to me.

I start packing up my sunscreen and the other crap. “I warned you long ago what you were dealing with. Did you think I was lying? I refuse to be chained, Steven – to anyone, no matter how much they do for me. You just don’t want to hear it.”

He points his finger, spitting in my face, “I saved you. You’d be dead on the street if it weren’t for me. Your own parents gave up on you.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe I wasn’t meant to be saved?” Now I’m getting pissed. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I just want it to be over. I want to be free again. Free to live – free to fuck up my own life on my own terms, not his. “I don’t want to be babysat for the rest of my life. And I’m sure you don’t want to be a babysitter for the rest of your life either.”

He looks at me, in that annoying way that he does, like I need to realize he’s the only one who understands me. “I love you, Jen. You just don’t want anyone to love you, so you can do whatever you want, guilt-free.” Already his voice is calmer – Jesus!

I’m nearly done packing my things when Steven walks down to the shoreline, scouring the beach with his eyes. I’ll be patient and allow him to carry out his exercise in futility – it’s the least I can do.

“You’ll never find it,” I shout over the surf. “I threw it more than a mile up the beach when we were walking.” I know he hears me, but he keeps looking without acknowledging my words. “Pathetic ass.”

I sit back in my chair, realizing he’s determined to make a decent attempt to retrieve the ring. I watch his slender back bend as he occasionally picks something up and then throws it back to the ground. He repeats the exercise until he gets about a quarter of a mile away. He turns back, obviously giving up going any further. Thank God, because the cool air is settling in quickly and the breeze is yelling in my ears.

Still he looks as he walks back. “Can we go, please?” I cup my hands around my mouth and yell from my chair. He continues to ignore me. There’s no way in hell he’ll ever find it. I laugh to myself. Ten grand thrown to the fish - unforgivable. How many antics can one man take? Success at last.

I stretch my legs out in front of me. First I inspect and then rub them for warmth. They’re still nice looking after thirty years; definitely attracted a number of stares from the testosterone portion of the crowd earlier in the day.

Steven is nearly back. With joy, I soak in his disappointment. He bends once again. This time his lips turn up a smile. Suddenly his disappointment turns into elation. He holds and turns over an object between his fingers before running to wash it in the ocean. No way – there’s no fucking way.

He’s running to me now.

“I knew I would find it! I knew it!”

He holds the ring up to me. I stare at it in disbelief. I was more than a mile away where I’d thrown it in. And I nearly threw my arm out I’d tossed it so far. How could it turn up right in front of me?

“It’s God’s will, Jen. Can you deny it?” he said, still holding the ring up for me to see.

I say nothing.

Steven lifts my chin, so that I must look away from the ring and into his eyes – they’re popping with joy.

“Can you deny it, Jen?” He says it softly this time.

Again, I find no words. It’s simply unbelievable.

He stares intently into my eyes. “God wants me to take care of you, Jen – and I don’t mind.” He takes my hand and slips the ring on the finger I had ripped it from a few hours before, and I let him.

I think for a moment that he must be right. How else could it be explained? He leans in to kiss me … and I let him.                     

                    





Writers Group Assignment - Create a story and incorporate the line "Lifting the scarf, I sip the beer, doing something to avoid answering his question." from the novel "Heroes" by Robert Cormier.