Erin vs. OC

“Yes! I’ve finally got it!” Erin cried happily as she sat up in her bed. “It may be a bit cliché, but it’s better then nothing.” She hurried along to her computer and began to type fiercely. Six months had gone by since she had last written something post-worthy for Writing.com, and she intended on changing that today.
 
In this tale of an author’s struggle against writer’s block, we find our young writer, Erin, battle against her ultimate enemy… her ungrateful character, Sir. Valence. From battling monsters to battling each other, Sir Valence and his creator embark on a not-so-incredible journey through the imaginary world of Denmark… no not the Denmark you’re thinking of. But first, please enjoy this commercial break!
 
~~~~~~~~Dandruff Commercial Plays~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Night air swayed into the opened door, through the house, and whispered softly to all its inhabitants. One girl had completely ignored it and continued with her typing. Soon after she began, however, she ran into a problem. Erin had begun her story with the typical sentence, “Once upon a time.” Unsatisfied with this sentence being the genesis of what she expected to be one of her most epic stories of all time, she deleted her words and created a new sentence, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” But alas, she knew that some other big-time author already held claims to that sentence. With grief, she deleted that sentence as well.
 
“T’was the night before Christmas… Four scorns and a fort-night ago… One January day, thirty years ago, in the little town of Hanover…He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff… In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth… Gah!” Erin slumped back into her chair and sighed. She placed head into her cupped hands and muttered, “I’ll go with the first one.”
 
“Once upon a time in the realm of Denmark, there lived a handsome young peasant named Valence. Valence was a man of hard work and dedication.” Erin smiled as she finally managed to make progress.
 
“Yea, right, like I’m the diligent type!” A voice echoed in her mind. Erin jumped and looked around. “God?” she questioned as she looked up. Hoping he didn’t come to smite her, she begged for him to forgive her for stealing her sister’s cookie while she wasn’t looking the other day.
 
But wait… that couldn’t be God, the voice sounded like that of an adolescent. The girl knew it wasn’t any of her siblings or her dad because all she had were sisters, and this masculine voice came from a delinquent, not a man. “Brandon?” she asked to see if perhaps her boy friend had snuck into her house and found her. “If that’s you then I’m calling the police and we’re through!” she said angrily.
 
“No I’m not Brandon. For I am Valence, and you are my creator!” said the voice soothingly. Erin blinked and slammed her head to the computer desk. “I’m still here, darling.” Valence’s voice mused with a slight chuckle. “Nice try though.”
 
Erin sighed and muttered something under her breath. “I guess this is what they mean when story characters ‘come alive’.” She brushed her hair back and cracked her knuckles and continues typing.
 
“Once upon a time in the realm of Denmark, there lived a hansom young peasant named Valence. He was a man of… well he was just a lazy teenager, actually. He was not lazy JUST for the sake of being lazy, however. A war had broken out between his people, The Eastern wind-breakers and the Southern Surfers.”
 
“What reasons did these two peoples have for their battle? One would imagine that those of the Easter Wind-Breakers would attack for the Southern-Surfers’ better land, but really they were merely fighting for a gold mine that lay in southern territory. In order to convince the young men to fight, The King had promised that whichever lad could come back with the most gold would hold his daughter’s hand in marriage”
 
“Oh ya, hot dog!” Valence cheered in Erin’s mind. Erin glared bitterly at the screen as if she could see Valence in it. “What? If there’s going to be a war, it might as well be for a noble cause.” He chuckled. Erin rolled her eyes and continued.
 
“Word was spread of this, yet the young lad was not interested in war or marriage. Instead he would much rather lay in bed and shoot arrows at a self-portrait of his older brother, Thomas. Thomas was a hansom man who actually WAS diligent in his works, even in war, and Valance had a bitter grudge against him for him stealing whatever thunder the adolescent actually had.”
 
“And yet despite of Valence’s brother being the obvious choice to bring to war, here Valence was… in a cart... with other male teenagers… riding toward the battle field. His plan of exulting his older brother even more through his own laziness had backfired. Convinced that war could turn Valence into a worthy man, his parents practically begged for the general to take him away. The General looked between Valence and Thomas and plainly stated, ‘I’d rather have him die anyway.”
 
“What!? So I’m going into war anyway… c’mon!” Valence raged in Erin’s subconscious. “Well you’re the main character after all, something HAS to happen to you.”
 
“Why not take my brother? From what you wrote about him he seems like the ‘cliché hero type’.” Valence augured. Erin muttered something under her breath and sighed. “You’re the main character, you’re going to war, and that’s final!”
 
“Well at least let me try to argue out of it!” He pleaded. Erin sighed and nodded. Of course he would still end up going to war, but she might as well try to please her delusions.
 
“Before the General hauled him off, Valence tried to plea his case. ‘I can’t go!’ he protested. Of course the General questioned his reasons, and Valence was sure he could con his way out of being drafted.”
 
“’I can’t go because I have… Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia!’ he yelled and shook violently to make his point. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but hopefully it had to do with fear of war of something. Valence smirked a little, proud of his performance.”
 
“Wait a minute… hexako-what?” The imaginary Valence yelled. “Is that even a real phobia?”
 
“Um yes… yes it is.” Erin said as she looked in the dictionary to check her spelling. Spelling was definitely NOT her forte. In fact once in the third grade she had forgotten how to spell, “I.” For about an hour or so she tried to spell it, “Ie, Ei, Iy.” Sad isn’t it?
 
“Well what does it even mean?” Valence asked angrily.
 
“You’ll see in just a moment.”
 
“The general shot a blank stare in Valence’s direction. ‘You DO realize that Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is the fear of 6-6-6, right?’ Valence blinked at the revelation. ‘Oh, well give me a few minutes and I can think of a new one.’”
 
“Seriously, that’s it? It doesn’t even have anything to do with war!” Valence yelled in the young writer’s mind. “That’s the point, that’s what makes it comical!” Erin aurgued with a slight chuckle. “It’s quite comical, isn’t it?”
 
A long pause came between them. “You HONESTLY think that you’re cheesy lines are comical?” Valence asked with annoyance. “Well ya… They’re funny to me.” Erin whined.
 
“Lame.” Valence mused bluntly. Again a long silence arose. “You know what… just for that something horrible is going to happen to you… in chapter two!” She chuckled evilly as she saved the first chapter.
 
~~~~~~ End credits play~~~~~~~~
 
What horrible thing awaits Valence in the next chapter? Will his fake Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia be enough to keep him safe from the War? Will Erin ever find sanity again, or did she even have it to start with? All the question will most likely be answered in a chapter or two. Until then, I’m the announcer/ narrator for this TV show, and this was another episode of "Creator vs. Created!"