Samantha and the King

Samantha and the King



Once upon a yesteryear, there lived a mighty king in a kingdom called Percepia. He'd been a happy man once, but his beautiful queen had died many years prior, whom he mourned day and night. So desperate was he to find a new Queen, the king organized a contest.

Now the king did his best work in solitude, so rather than build a traditional castle, the King had gone to Mount Solomon--the highest in the land--and built the castle within. His throne room was at the peak, which had been hollowed out. The only way into this chamber was on the back of a mechnical blue and red hummingbird.

Every day, the King sat upon his throne, and four women were brought before him. Being a handsome and comely man, the King was sought by all the maidens in the land (and most of the married ones, too).

But day after day, the King turned these women away. Finally, on the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month of the King's thirteen-year reign, only four maidens remained and he had yet to find his queen.

The first woman, dressed in garments created by the finest tailors in the north, came before the King. But the King said to her: "Golden-haired Goddess of the north, you are certainly very beautiful. But I also know that you are as amiable as a rabid cat, and that will never do."

He said to his attendant: "Bring her to my guardsmen, so that they may enjoy her as they deem fit."

The second woman, dressed in garments created by the finest tailors in the south, came before the King. But the King said to her: "Ebon-haired angel of the south, you are certainly the kindest woman I have ever met. But I also know of catfish that are more attractive than you, and that will never do."

He said to his attendant: "Bring her to my servants; beggars can't be choosers after all."

The third woman, dressed in garments created by the finest tailors in the east, came before the King. But the King said to her: "Fire-maned vixen of the east, you are kind and surely the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon. But how am I to rest easy, knowing that every man in my kingdom lusts after my queen, and that every woman envies her?"

He said to his attendant: "Bring her to the town square, so that everyone may enjoy her equally."

The fourth woman, dressed in garments created by the finest tailors in the west, came before the King. But the King said to her: "White-haired bat of the west, is this a joke? If your age is not a hundred years or more, I would surely be surprised."

He said to his attendant: "Just put this one back where you found her; anything else would be cruel and unusual."

Despairing, the King sat upon his throne and brooded. Every woman in Percepia had been brought before him, and he had been unable to fall in love with any one of them. Was he doomed to be alone forever?

Just as the King was preparing to depart for bed, the red and blue hummingbird swooped into his chamber. A woman clad in rags and chains disembarked, escorted by two guards.

"This woman was caught stealing," said the first guard. "May we have her for a few days, before her beheading?"

The King almost consented, but then he looked closely at the woman. Her eyes, the shade of the sky on the bluest day, were desperate with sincerity. A matching blue star was tattooed on the corner of her eye. Streaks of dirt and grime stained the girl's flesh and her rags were too scant to provide much cover.

"Remove these clothes from her," the King commanded. "And bathe her head to toe. Then bring her before me once again."

So the woman was brought to the showers and tethered to the ceiling by her chains. Her rags were cut away, her body scrubbed from head to toe. Nude, she was brought before the King once more, released from her chains, and left alone with him.

"Tell me, little thief--what is the name of the maiden in possession of thine stolen heart?"

Her cheeks like little roses, her downcast eyes transfixed by the contours of her little feet, the woman said: "Samantha."

"From where do you hail, Samantha?"

"Nowhere in particular," Samantha replied. "I simply wander."

"I must say that you are the most beautiful lady I have ever seen. I offer you a choice: you may become the concubine of my savage guardsmen for the period of three days, and on the fourth day beheaded; or you may become my queen, faithful to me until the day we die."

Samantha's eyes rose to her captor now, alight with surprise and hope. "I would very much like to be a queen, sire. And if I might say so, I am quite taken with you as well."

The King contemplated this, and though elated by Samantha's response, he wasn't sure if she could be trusted. A test was in order.

"Then approach the throne and prove your words are true."

The King's enthusiasm for the splendour of Samantha's flesh was unmistakable, and made her a bit nervous. She sinned from time to time, but never indulged in these carnal desires.

But as Samantha mounted the throne and fell into the King's arms, their movements became so fluid that one might think them practised. The King chose his orifice of choice and Samantha accepted Him into her, and then she rose and settled upon Him until the King was satisfied. Samantha reoriented her body and lay against the King, very much pleased.

"You have proven yourself true," the King commended, kissing the blue star on Samantha's eye. "A woman speaking lies could not have left me feeling so fulfilled."

So on a beautiful morning four days later, Samantha the thief became the Queen of Percepia in the greatest wedding the kingdom had ever seen. She wore the most beautiful gown in all the land, created by four different tailors. That night, she sat on the throne beside the King as the townsfolk danced and drank the night away. With the King's search for a wife finally over, Percepia prospered.

And Samantha, and the King, lived happily ever after.



"Samantha and the King", while widely acclaimed, has made a few waves with the WDC feminists. One response can be found here:

ID: 1656669   (Rated: 13+) Samantha and the Queen  A feminist response to Robert Pearle's/Trevor Prescott's Samantha and the King by Asymmetrical