Life is Boring

You stand in front of the mirror at quarter to eleven on Thursday night. You know that your cab is going to be here soon, but something is missing and you're not sure what. When you say this out loud Lauren hands you a shot and tells you that you're beautiful, but you have to go.

The vodka burns all the way down. You were sure that you'd be used to that by now. You're not. You just tell you're self you're not drunk enough yet. The next one will be easier. When you slam the shot glass down you stare at it for a minute.

You bought the shot glass while in Los Angeles. The glass has the image of the Hollywood hills. You don't remember the hills, but you're sure you visited them. You must have. It seems so long ago. Those boys had endless supplies of alcohol and things to do. You laugh at the thought and remember it was only two months ago.

Annoyed with your fleeting memory, you push the glass away and say that you're sure you need more eye liner. Lauren tells you no, but you're sure it's just because the taxi's honking out front. She pours two more shots for each of you as you head out the door. You can't help wondering if the night is going to be worth all the fuss. You keep this to yourself. Lauren's too excited to listen anyway.

The cab driver stops four blocks away. You slide right against the door and let in Sam and Kyle, Lauren's friends. You don't know them, but they smile at you and tell you they're ready to party. When they ask if you are all you can do is shrug. The cab driver watches you in the rearview mirror. You pretend not to notice.

When you arrive to the club you're relieved. It's exactly what you think a club should always be like; dimly lit, busy and full of beautiful people. Lauren winks at the bouncer and you get in for free. You wink at the bartender and he tells you to wait for him when the place closes. You and Lauren keep going back to him because every second drink is free.

MSTRKRFT is DJing. It's the only reason you agreed to come. You dance with Sam and let him put his hands up your shirt. You don't know why. You don't even think he's cute. But he starts buying you drinks and tells you how pretty you are. And he's a good kisser. It makes it easy.

At two o'clock Lauren is asked to leave by two bouncers and a skinny man whose voice you can't stand. You tell him to shut up. Another bouncer, a man with arms as big as your waist, carries you out the door and ignores your protests.

Lauren starts screaming that she lost her purse. You ask her what purse. You can't remember her having one. You blame it on the vodka, the tequila, the dim lighting. You pace on the sidewalk and try to control your anger. Lauren ruined your night and now you're just ready to go home. But Lauren grabs your hand just as she begins to puke. Lauren stumbles forward. She pukes on some girl's shoe, but you're the one that gets pushed. The girl is screaming at you, pointing at Lauren. You stand there, confused and drunk. You just wanna go home.

Kyle finds you. He calls Sam. Sam comes and kisses you on the mouth. You don't kiss him back. His fingers link between yours. You don't squeeze yours back. She pulls you toward the car and you follow, unsure of what else to do. You don't remember Kyle and Lauren coming with you, but you're glad when all four of you get out at Sam's apartment.

The apartment is small, but there's so much to see and touch. Sam offers to show you his room. You don't remember declining, but you climb onto the couch instead. Lauren climbs up with you. She's not wearing a shirt. She doesn't want you to be wearing one either. You scream the lyrics to Panic by the Smiths and hug everyone.

Eventually you fall onto the carpet. Lauren kisses your cheek and said that you have to do this all again tomorrow.

Sam kisses you and removes your pants. You say nothing. You don't move. At some point you fall asleep, but you're not sure when.

You wake up. Sam whispers good morning. You whisper goodbye. Lauren is already gone, but you don't bother to check any how. You check your cellphone and feel relieved that it's only noon. You have time to sleep before it all starts over again.

Just before you crawl into bed your mom calls. She asks where you've been. She asks what you've been doing. You just want to sleep. You yawn into the phone and tell her, "Life is boring".