My Mission: To Be Like Jared

My Mission: To Be Like Jared

To earn fame and fortune from once being fat
(Just in the States can you gain fame like that!).
But I don’t want to weigh 400-plus pounds
Unable to cover the college’s grounds,
Connecting with food instead of with friends
(A poor substitution that won’t make amends).
Nor do I want, so as to survive,
To eat enough food for a family of five.
That’s not the life that I’d want to know,
Putting ten packs of sugar in one cup of Joe!
No. The reason my mission’s to walk in his shoes,
Is to meet Larry King and be on the news.
To educate children who start out like him,
To limit their intake and visit the gym,
Encouraging others to lose weight as well.
When I hang out with Oprah my story I’ll tell,
With a work out a day and no snacks on my plate,
How on Subway alone I lost half my weight,
Saying hold the mayo and hold the cheese
But add all the greens and the mustard please!
To lift up the pants that I used to wear
Knowing three other people could fit into there.
And how lucky I’d feel to be so alive,
Once destined to die at age thirty-five.
How great would it be to do all of these?
To lower the number considered obese?
Yes. I'd manage my mission, whatever it took,
Then write it all down in a best-selling book!


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