Sign of the Times

So here’s Jim, the new and improved version
of Pat, Jim’s predecessor.
He comes with many new features while
retaining the old ones –
firstly, a cooking ability has been installed,
and chest hair, deleted.
Due to popular demand, the blond hair and blue
eyes have been kept
and Jim comes in a taller model than Pat.
The “Handy-man” module
has been maintained, and he has a longer
shelf life thanks to
elongated “Easy Vit!” and “Omega 3” supplies.
The facial hair, unpopular
with the female audience, has been removed
and instead, a built-in
self tanning accessory. Jim is able to adapt to
modern circumstances,
and unlike Pat, you can alter how long he goes for
without worrying about
Plugging him in or turning him on.