Town Meeting in Perfectville U.S.A.

In the made up town of Perfectville, Mr. Obama has been kidnapped by the patriot citizens. When I say kidnapped, I mean that he was duped. Thinking he was on his way to a motel with an intern, he's brought before a commitee of respectable townspeople.Thousands of Tea Party loyalists who pour out the building and onto the grounds are listening to the goings on and adding their voices. Fox News has set up their cameras and joy of joys, no one called "gay"BC news. Fair is fair, as GAYBC never lets the Tea Party have their say and recently kept them off camera at Obama's latest debaucle of his proposed health care meeting again. But today the sun shines, the true Americans are out in mass, and even GAYBC television's cameras can't send a false idea with their cameras only panning on the confused democrats this time. As Mr. Obama is brought up to the podium, he realizes the jig is indeed up.
"Are you ready for a good time Mr. President? ",says the intern waving the bottle of malt liquor and menthol cigarettes she enticed him into the limo with ."Because I sure am. She tosses the items in the trash and puts her blazer on over her tee shirt and takes her place in the audience. Mr. Obama is for once speechless.Suddenly the crowd goes wild as Mr. Ted Nugent enters the building in a handsome suit and dark glasses with his trusted piece in his side holster.
"Well, glad you could make it Mr. President. It seems the real Americans are very anxious to hear your reasons for ignoring their wants and needs for the real America. They want to impeach you sir. Being a fair man and a man who likes a challenge, I thought a little debate first might be informative and enjoyable."
Obama finally speaks up,"Now, now that's not possible. I am unprepared and there are no teleprompters connected to the United Nations sub-basement to tell me what to say. I don't even have my shirt sleeves rolled up yet to give the impression I'm working hard for the people." He takes a huge audible gulp and says,"Did I say that out loud?"
"Why yes you did Mr. President. But that's a step in the right direction so let's get this started shall we?"
The crowd laughs heartily as Mr. Nugent takes his place at his podium.
Man from crowd-"Give 'em hell Ted!"
Ted gives a thumbs up to the crowd.

Mr Nugent takes off his sunglasses . " I am not the suit and tie type as you all know, but there are times that call for diplomacy." He takes of his suit jacket, rolls up the sleeves of his black shirt and faces the crowd."We're ready for any questions you may have folks. The reporters have first crack. I see Miss Coulter is here, any questions Miss Coulter?"

Shaking her long lovely mane from her eyes, she speaks into the microphone,"Mr. Nugent, I can't say enough how pleased I am that you have arranged this meeting for the Perfectville Tea Party members.The Tea Party groups have emerged from their "exile" in the political wilderness with a righteous indignation that has frightened the ruling classes and shaken the corrupt cabal that controls the capitol. They can no longer be grouped together as a bunch of "uneducated, faceless, technologically-retarded, crackers". They are the most visible image of the uprising of the true Right against those who would force us down the road to serfdom. I feel you owe us all an apology Mr. Obama.  Did you not just recently call the true Republicans of the USA "a bunch of pasty-faced, pork-eating, white-assed, crackers that couldn't tie their shoes? That they can't make ends meat because they ate them? That when they sit in the sun you smell bacon and hear them sizzle?And that you don't care what happens to America because you plan on vacating this country after marshall law is imposed anyway? Your response Mr. Obama?"

Obama smiles nervously and with hands up replies,"People, I am by no means showing favoritism to the Republican or Democratic party. What I did say is that in hard times like these, people need to be open to meatless menus to make their money go further. I had remarked that many of the republican friends seemed to be struggling with their weight and I am concerned for their health, that's all. Many of my Republican associates have had close calls with skin cancer. I simply told them to cover their white asses...to cover up when out in the sun. I am looking out for you people! Now as far as vacating the US, it's not happening people. I was born in this country. As a person born in Kenya...tucky..." His forehead begins to sweat.

Miss Coulter interrupts,"Mr. Obama, you mean to say you were born in Kentucky? I thought you said you were born in Hawaii ? Now you say it's Kentucky? "Kenya" tell us where it is you were actually born sir?"

Obama replies,"I meant to say that I was born again in Kentucky. Yes, I was saved in a church in ol' Kentuck. I remember the sunday school picnics there. The wonderful lamb..pig roasts. Afterwards we held the sweet Koran...the cob and ...ate them..with butter! Yes, I love corn on the cob! I miss the sweet times in old Kentucky."

Coulter,"So you're not a Muslim then?"

Obama,"I didn't say that. I believe in God, We're all God's children. That reminds me of a spiritual I heard sung by my dear friend and mentor Rev. Wright. It goes..."

Someone from the crowd pipes up,"I got a song for you Obama, it's called,"God Bless America.", why don't you let the kids in school sing it if you are saved? Why can't they pray in school anymore if you're saved?"

Coulter," Mr. Obama,We found your original birth certificate! It says on this certificate that you were born in Kenya. Mr. Jesse Ventura worked very hard to find this piece of paper.Say hello Jesse!"

Jesse Ventura,"Hello Obama! Long time no see! Last time we met I saw you hightailing it out of the Raddisson Hotel with a little high school honey. You didn't know she was 23 years old and working for us though did you?" He pulls a girl to him,"Say hello Phoebe!"

"Hello Phoebe!" says the light-skinned, blonde with a killer body.

Ventura-"I never said she was bright, I just said she was working for us. We couldn't have anyone leak this to the press. We needed someone who asked no questions and lacked diplomacy."

Phoebe,"I do so have a diploma! See? I got it from the Miss Wanda's You-nique School of Beauty. Humph."

Ventura- "Yes honey, good for you. I'm proud of you. Now how old did you tell Mr. Obama you were?"

Phoebe- "16. He seemed happy about it too."

Ventura-"Did you have sex?"

Phoebe- " He said we weren't having sex. He said to call it a "makeover" then he laughed and said it was because he was gonna "make me over and over" till my "little white ass turned good and red."  The crowd let out several gasps. Someone yelled,"Deport him right now Jesse!" Ventura laughed and shared a high-five with Miss Coulter.Then Miss Coulter asked Phoebe one more question,

"Phoebe, did Mr. Obama use protection?"

Phoebe,"Oh Yeah, he had a bodyguard by the bed and two outside the door.He also had a guy from Homeland Security making a security tape of us."

Coulter-"Yes, but did he use a condom?"

Phoebe-"No. He said if I got knocked up it's O.K. His health care plan is going to give free abortions to girls everywhere on the taxpayers wallet. But I'm on the pill", then looking back at the crowd and rolling her eyes she says,"Thank Gaaaaaaahd!" Then she says seriously," But I could never kill my baby. I always wanted a little girl to do hair with and take shopping and..."

Coulter-"Thank you Phoebe. You have been a great help." Phoebe is lead out of the hall into a private witness protection program run and funded by Ted Nugent and the W.H.B.O.F.

Coulter-"Mr. President, you are charged with intent to sexually corrupt a would-be minor, drug posession, fraud, insider trading and selling of Pharmacuetical stocks, Stealing from the public by not returning campaign funds taken under the assumption you were a natural born citizen and eligible to become president, orchestrating the take over of government by communists from posing as politicians, promoting a fraudulent health care plan that removes the rights of the people, having full knowlege that the Federal government has been taken over by United Nation operatives who are planning on global depopulation through the use of aerial spraying and vaccination, Accepting bribes, including the Hawaiian vacation you just had this past December with all your family for 20,000 a night for two weeks. Finally, having sex with Nancy Pelosi..."

The crowd-"Eeeeew", "Gross", "Oh man that's sick", "Yeah, but have you seen Michelle up close?", "Oh no my brother. Say you didn't" ,etc.

Obama- "Listen. We never had sex. All I remember is boarding her private jet, being served glass after glass of booze, feeling sleepy, and before I passed out in my chair, someone threw a bowl of cold jello on my lap. Wait a minute! That old commie fart slipped me a roofy! "

Nancy Pelosi enters in handcuffs.

Ted Nugent- "This bitch talks way too much. I am setting aside her right to be heard in a court since we all have suffered under big mouth and loud opinions already." He unrolls the list of charges against her and it rolls out of the podium "Get this piece of crap out of my sight and back in a jail cell.Goodbye Nancy."

The townspeople crack up and applaud as she is led away.A veteran in uniform spits on her and says,"I fought to defeat Hitler and I'll be damned if you think you're turning this country communist or socialist!" He sits down and straightens his tie.

Ted Nugent speaks up," I want to personally endorse Mike Huckabee for President of the United States and I accept his offer to be Chief of Homeland Security. According to the Declaration of Independance, the private citizens have a right to disestablish the current government if they feel it does not best represent them. Shall we now disestablish the current government folks?"

Crowd-"Yes!", (said many times over and over) Monitors set up in town halls all across America show people reacting the same way

Obama is led away personally by Mr. Ted Nugent where he is imprisoned and works as a cook making pork-based meals to feed the hungry under 24 hour watch by Ted's men. It was the first time in Obama's life he actually did some good and it brought about a change in him, a change even he could believe in.

Coulter- "I present to the people of the United States of America our new president, Mr. Mike Huckabee and Vice President, Mr. Jesse Ventura.

In the following weeks, the false Americans are routed out of office and get their comeuppance. The members of the U.N. were given a fair trial. Those who saw the error of their ways were put into patriot half-way houses while they learned how to be loyal Americans, those who were proven to be traitors beyond the shadow of a doubt were put to death. Many of them had been in the process of planning the take over of America's military bases by foreign troops. Former prisons repurposed by the Feds with the intent of murdering the masses of Americans were used to house the Communists until they were tried.Nancy Pelosi was one of them. Kicking and screaming all the way to the gas chamber, she spat at the pastor who was there to pray for her."F-you. F- America! You should have all died! RINO (Republican in name only) and Haliburton owner Dick Cheney whose company built the gas chambers and re-fitted the closed prisons in each US state, is given the very gas chamber he thought would kill thousands of Americans whose vacated property he thought would profit him.
  After Cheney's execution, Ex-President George W. Bush was heard saying, "Now who's the dummy huh Dick? Boo-Ya!". But "Dub-ya" and his father were stripped of their oil holdings which were given to the Tea Party to be used wisely. No oil-jockeys were allowed to own any US based oil fields any longer. The Arabs had a fit of course, but we didn't care since we no longer used oil. A brilliant scientist invented cold fusion that furnaces and cars were run on using plain old water. With the money everyone saved they bought great health care that President huckabee restructured wisely. Abortion became illegal and whoever performed them was given the death penalty. In no time the country was heading out of the recession and became fiscally strong. So strong in fact that many countries who copied Obama's stimulus practices asked to borrow money from us. We flatly refused of course. In five years we even paid back China on all our notes.
  The United Nations building is leveled by none other than Ted Nugent who personally pushed the detonation button.This would become a national holiday known as "UNDD", or United Nations Demolition Day. No one was harmed as the building was cordoned off along with the adjacent area. A short war broke out between the United States and Russia/China/Korea. But God was on The USA's side and we won in an unbelieveably short time.The miltia in these countries did half the fighting for us as they wanted nothing to do with communism anymore either.
  Once in office President Huckabee removed the dams blocking the flow of water to parched California. He made it a law to prosecute anyone who suggested letting people suffer on behalf of a claim that some animal would be inconvienienced. The communists posing as tree-huggers were tossed out into the Siberian wasteland never to be heard of again. Mr. Huckabee began the grueling process of cleaning house in Washington. He began backing the dollar with silver and disestablished the Federal government with the aid of millions of Tea Party militia. Knowing his safety was at risk, he had many Navy Seals loyal to Vice President Ventura guard him until the Feds were removed. Banks became a sytem that once again helped the public.Outsourced jobs were a thing of the past. No companies would have any bases in the US if they operated overseas.Cap and trade became a thing of the past as did the false claim of "separation of church and state". People prayed in school, at work, any where they felt like it. If anyone objected to Christian prayers, crosses, or bibles, they were given a free ticket to a communist country who agreed with them. The American dollar became strong as did the people. Former witness Miss Phoebe married a good man who gave her a little girl who she could love and dress up. And America lived happily after.

THE END

by: Kimarie Manhart-Freeman