The Luck of the Eye, Rich

CONTEST RULES (read them carefully):
This contest opens for various holidays throughout the year. The St. Patrick's Day round will close at 11:59 pm WDC time on 3/17/10. Winner(s) will be posted no later than April 1.
All entries MUST be based on the picture prompt below AND contain all three word prompts. HINT: making the word prompts a different color or bolding them within the story will make them stand out.
Each entry MUST be newly written for this contest.
Each entry MUST be no more than 1,000 words AND word count must be listed at the bottom of your entry or it will be disqualified.
Although comedy quality is my primary concern in this contest, spelling, grammar and punctuation will  be taken into consideration.
Short stories ONLY, please. Everything else will be disqualified.
I am not easily offended, so any rating is OK in this contest, but the title and intro must be E rated. 
Each qualified entry will receive an in-depth review of his/her work. For now all qualified entries will be read and reviewed by yours truly, but should I receive gazillions of entries I will seek the assistance of a guest judge(s) to keep things running smoothly and on time.
Now for the prompts. You ready? Remember, all entries MUST be based on the picture prompt below AND contain all three word prompts. HINT: making the word prompts a different color or bolding them within the story will make them stand out.
Image Prompt: (Photo of a leprechaun sharing a green beverage with an attractive - winged - blond in the forest)
Word Prompts: ale, Jezebel, luck

********************************************************

The Luck of the Eye, Rich

By Indelibleink

“Do you really think it will be safe to cut though the old O’Leary lot, Richie? Ever since I was little my Mom has told me to stay away from that land – that nothing good can come from trespassing on that property.

“Yeah, but you’re not little anymore, Eye. We’re both thirteen years old now – we’re almost men. Heck, we can even swear now if we want to – we’re old enough.” Richie quickly glanced around the area before continuing his tirade. “I’ll be damned if we can’t swear.”

Eye, who had acquired his nickname as a result of losing the sight in one eye after being struck by buckshot from the gun of an errant hunter, also looked around quickly before answering his pal. “Hell, yeah!”

The two spent the next twenty minutes spouting expletives as they walked, without the slightest fear of recrimination. Of course, it was 6:15 in the morning, and of course, they were out in the middle of Nebraska farm country, probably acres away from the nearest human. But the dairy cattle and the birds were sure getting an ear-full!

Naturally, it wasn’t long before the luster of being foul-mouthed bad-asses wore off, and the boys continued their journey along State Route 315 for another half-hour or so, when Richie suddenly stopped and grabbed Eye’s arm, and pointed to the heavily-wooded acreage that was about a quarter-mile or so down the road. “The O’Leary Property.” Richie said the words with a reverence usually reserved for landmarks of great historical significance, like the Great Wall of China or even Big Linda’s Shake Shop.

Eye did not overlook the significance with which Richie uttered the words. “Wow, Richie, it looks really overgrown – like Jurassic Park or something. But…you know… it looks like it would be a real pain to try to get through that forest. Probably more time than we’ve got…”

“Eye, am I listening to my best friend – or do I hear his Mama talking? I heard that there's a big old mansion in those trees, and that every year around the ‘Ides of March’ – old man O’Leary comes back to check on his property. Maybe there's treasure...”

Eye was already as white as a sheet, although he was trying to put up a good front. “Richie, I’m all for going in there, but this O’Leary guy might be carrying a gun. Maybe we should come back during the ‘Ides of April’ – doesn’t that make sense?” 

“Look, Eye, here’s the deal: We’re going in there. You have your pocket knife and I have one, too. If there’s any trouble, we’re men enough to handle it, right?”

Richie had cleverly painted his best friend into a corner, from which Eye could see no escape – at least not without sounding like a little girl! Richie had played the “man” card, and played it beautifully. “You’re right, Richie – we have nothing to worry about – let’s go!”

    ***********************************************

TWO HOURS LATER

Eye placed his weary rear end on a huge fallen tree trunk and let out a huge sigh. “Richie, I’m taking a break for a minute. Do you have any idea where we are? This forest is so dense that I can’t even make out where the sun is. I’m thirsty, and I’m kinda hungry, too. This O’Leary guy didn’t happen to have a burger joint on his property by any chance, did he, Richie?”

“Richie?” Suddenly, for Eye, the forest seemed even bigger and more quiet than it had only a few moments ago. “Okay, Richie! You can come out now!”

“Lost yer friend –now didja, me lad?”  The words came from within the tree trunk upon which Eye had chosen to sit, and the impish voice was clearly not that of his buddy. In response, Eye had jumped high into the air, and when he landed, his feet were already in motion, just like the exaggerated animated antics of characters in the cartoons. Yet, all that motion caused him to trip and fall about three feet from where he landed.

“Laddie, your jump was worthy of an Olympic medal, but your sprint leaves a little to be desired!”

A rotund little man in a green suit emerged from the tree trunk, and scurried over to assist Eye, who was still flailing his arms and kicking his feet in an attempt to flee. ”Careful, my boy – lest you knock this ale from me hands. I just drew this pint, and it’s bad luck – not to mention just plain rude – to knock a man’s drink from his hands! Me name's O'Leary.”

Eye arose slowly, but now less terrified of the man because of his diminutive size and apparent good nature. "Wh-where's Richie?" he stammered.

"Probably with Jessie," replied the little man. "I imagine she's caught up with him by now. He saw me before you did, and he took off like a shot. He moves pretty fast, but me beloved Jezebel was blessed with wings, so for her, catching him was easy."

Sure enough, moments later there was Richie walking back with a beautiful winged blond.

"Well," said Eye, "You've got us. Now what?"

"My friends, Jezebel and I were hoping you boys would be our guests of honor for lunch."

"D-D-Did you say 'Jezebel'?" Richie's eyes bugged out as he asked the question.

The little man smiled as he produced a butcher's knife. "Why, yes. Do you know of her?"

Richie nodded affirmatively as eased over to Eye and whispered in his ear and Eye's jaw dropped, while also noting that Jezebel was now wielding a carving knife.

"Well, boys, I'm getting hungry..."

Before Jessie could finish her sentence, the boys were already disappearing through the dense leafless brush.

Laughing so hard that breathing was difficult, O'Leary and his daughter playfully stabbed each other with the rubber stage knives that had fooled the boys so beautifully.

O'Leary removed the pretend wings from his daughter's back and said, "I wonder how we'll top this next year?"

The laughter resumed.

********************************************************

Words: 999