An Introspective Poem

Tracing my steps back into the chaos and mayhem
That comprised the formative years
Of my not-so-brief tenure on this crazy planet
(you know which one, of course),
I recall with curtains flowing how the past
Lived up to its full potential. 
There were lots of fear, insecurity, and maniacal pride
To utterly consume my poor, beleaguered heart,
Yet successes and brilliance to further my causes,
While humbling and belittling my pride
For which there was no cause. 
My happiness equates solely to an abstraction
Of the jarring non-compliance and struggles
Which I knew should spur me on,
But which gripped me with destructive and causeless fear.

Do these gamers such as myself have the gonads
To seek and overcome intense horror and adversity,
Or do my much-improved talents offer me any hope? 
Only if I survive long enough for the required impetus
And solutions to materialize –
For what is talent but a treasured gift
To fight for and to hone,
Through one’s clever and sought-after understanding
Of the endless challenges presented every decade,
Year, month, and day –
Those long and not-so-brief episodes
Of frustration, sadness, and sinister humility
Which plague my eternal soul…