I Shouldn't Have Opened It

I know it's no excuse, but I had a really rough day at work.

So I stopped at the Wild Goose to watch the girls dance and have myself a few beers.

Then when I got home, that's when I found the damned box sitting on my front porch.


I know I should have been suspicious when I saw the foreign postage stamps and the "Athens" cancellation mark.

An the box looked old, really old, like maybe even ancient old.

And the return address was just one word...

But in my condition I was thinking, "Pandora, wasn't that the name of a heavy metal band back in the 90's? Or was it Pantera, or Pantanna? Maybe there's some cool stuff in here, like free DVDs or something!"


So I opened the box, so sue me!

Sorry about the locusts, I know they really suck, they trashed my yard too.

Rats? Don't tell me about rats, I must have killed at least a dozen of them in my kitchen alone today.

At least the whole "water turned into blood" thing isn't as bad as it looks, You can still drink it. It's more like "water turned into water with some red food coloring and a little salt". (Although it is kind of annoying the way it turns your clothes pink in the wash.)


And the plagues do seem to be getting better now, looks like we've seen the worst of it.

I know, I know, ninety percent fatality rate is pretty bad. Most of my relatives are dead too, so I really don't want to listen to you whining about your losses.

Look on the bright side, at least we won't have to worry about overpopulation for a while!