Forgiven

FORGIVEN

         Because of the kind of world this is and because of the very nature of human beings there is often much to forgive. Since the opposite of forgiving is grudge bearing, it is clear to see that the road to mental health and peace of mind lies through forgiveness. If I am entangled in grudges and old hurts and angers I am not free to live, to love, to give and to grow.

         The best way to define some words is to say what they do not mean. Forgiveness is not making excuses for the offender, or pretending the offense never happened or that it was not as bad as it was. It is not hiding the offense away in a secret place and pretending not to remember it. Forgiveness is not an emotion or a feeling.

         Forgiveness is an act of the will. It is a decision, arrived at, because it is the right thing to do and it is best for me to do it. Forgiving is looking right into the face of the wrong that was done and knowing exactly what it was and then deciding to let it go. No matter whether the offender wants to be forgiven, forgiving is the door through which I must pass to my own freedom.

         Imagine a two edged razor blade tnen imagine holding it clutched in your hand. The tighter and longer you hold it, the more it hurts you. Unforgivenes is like that razor blade. The real suffering is caused, not by the offense committed against me, but by what I am doing with it now. However egregious the offense, it is the unforgiveness that is harming me now.

         Dropping the instrument of my pain, which is the cutting edge of unforgiveness, is a choice. I can control no other human being except myself. I can make no decisions for anyone else. But I can decide to do this, I can choose this act and do it.

         A warm feeling of forgiveness does not usually come right away. The cuts are still there, the pain is still terrible. But a decision has been made, to drop the thing that is hurting me and, and not to retrieve it and take it up again.

         How does this change my world? In every way! I will not continue to regard the offense as a debt I am entitled to hold over the head of the offender. The Bible tells us 'be very kind to one another, tenderhearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you!' The Bible gives a solemn warning. If we do not forgive others, our sins are not forgiven, either. As Christians our most basic belief is that when we ask for God's forgiveness it is given, unqualified, eternally, completely and freely, based on the sacrifice Jesus Christ made ny His death and resurrection. God is a forgiver and He is offended by unforgiveness.

         I do not forgive for the sake of the offender. It is not given to me to grant absolution to anyone. He still has to be accountable to God but no longer to me. Forgiving him removes me from the equation and sets me free.

         Jesus told a story of a ruler who called one of his servants in for an audit. This man had run up an insurmountable debt, one he could not possibly pay in two lifetimes. The ruler had two options. The law of that land gave him the right to sell the man and his family into slavery and confiscate all his property. Or he had the option of grace, and that is the one he chose. He canceled the debt and set the debtor free. But this same servant approached a fellow servant who owed him a week's wages and demanded payment. When the man could not pay, he hauled him before the authorities to get what was due him. Hearing what was done, the ruler became very angry and called the man to his office and asked him 'How dare you, when I forgave you this much!' And according to the text he 'delivered the man to the tormentors.'

         And it is for this reason that I forgive, so tht my sins will be forgiven. It is in view of the forgiveness I have received from God Himself. It is my own path to inner peace.