Cheap Seats

Writer’s Cramp Contest
1153 Words
May 22-23, 2010                                 



                                                                    “Cheap Seats”

    Alicia had an 8 AM flight to Philadelphia, with plenty of time to drive to her hometown, thirty-five miles east. She was to attend her best friend’s wedding. Cathy had lost her first husband a few years back, and Alicia was looking forward to meeting her new husband and catching up on old times. Time seemed to stand still, yet vague memories seemed to slip in and out, through the sequence of years’ past, reminding her that time had definitely moved on.

    She had rented a car to drive over the Walt Whitman Bridge and arrive in Dennisville, her small hometown in South Jersey.  Just about everyone would be there and she had to look her best. A population of about four hundred, there would probably be at least half that attending the wedding.  She had to be dressed before boarding her flight, because there wouldn't be enough time after her arrival. She would be driving straight to the church for the ceremony that would take place at three o’clock. Alicia maintained a healthy regiment of diet and exercise. She had bought that perfect dress for this special occasion.  It should have been an easy trip, but as it turned out, things went completely sour. 

                                                                      ********

    Even before the plane took off, she knew this trip was going to be a fiasco. Her seat was near the window and she immediately wished she had reserved a seat in the back of the plane.

    The squirming and whining for food began almost immediately, from this pudgy, dirty-faced child who sat between her and the woman who happened to look exactly like him. Over-weight, without the tell-tale drippings of food, she was as antsy as her son.  She took out two snacks, every time she reached into her humongous handbag. She wasn’t stingy about it. One snack was for her and one for her son. 

    Of course, this boy would be in the middle seat. Why wouldn’t he be?  All children must be kept safer these days. She watched the news and she had raised two children of her own.  However, in her wildest dreams, she could not imagine anyone stealing this obnoxious child.

    This ten year-old something of a boy was obese and had chocolate smeared all over his face. Evidently, he didn’t like M and M’s. S’mores was probably more to his liking.  Was that chocolate ice cream smeared all over his face? His hands looked very sticky! She cringed at these images, praying he would never touch her.

    Economy seats are not exactly the most accommodating. Even if it were just she herself and two very small children, she would probably have been just as uncomfortable.  The economy being as it was and her drop in salary, had forced Alicia to buy a third-class ticket. So did her fellow passengers, evidently.  It most likely had cost this woman a mint for all those snacks, thought Alicia. She probably could have flown first class.

    She tried to ignore both of them, adjusting her pillow, resting her head against the window. She closed her eyes and hoped to sleep most of the way. She needed the rest and better yet, she wouldn't have to look at these ridiculous human beings. Wrong!

    The whining, bumping, twitching and touching began almost immediately.  Through half-closed eyes, she caught a glimpse of the sticky hands that plagued her.  At this point, her thoughts were all about her, understandably. My dress! Please don’t touch me!  Oh, my God! This trip was quickly turning out to be a huge regret on Alicia’s part. Maybe she should have watched the wedding at home on Skype!

    She couldn’t sleep, read, or listen to music.  The steward had brought beverages and Alicia welcomed the refreshing cranberry juice and beer nuts. It was a small diversion, but it was something to do and pass the time.
    Of course, this child had his own additional food and drink in his mother’s bottomless bag. For each snack this child ate, he drank a soda. Among his many activities, there were many trips to the bathroom, keeping him quite busy. Alicia was busy too, trying to huddle in her own cramped space, keeping herself covered with her blanket, clutching it until her knuckles had turned white.

    After his fifth trip or so to the bathroom, the boy was on his way back to his seat when the "Fasten your seat belt" light came on.  As he was squeezing his chubby body into his seat, the pilot announced that there would be some turbulence and to please stay seated. It wasn’t long before the plane began to dip and shake. She noticed that this sweet child had yet to wash his hands. It should have been the least of her fears. 
    She watched and witnessed this boy going through a complete physical change. It was actual morphing up close. His eyes began to bulge out of his head. His face began to blow up like a red balloon. He puffed up even further, if that was at all possible.  He began to perspire, which led to very loud belching. As this scene unfolded, Alicia couldn’t believe her eyes and the sounds coming from this child were almost obscene.

    Alicia watched horrified as he reached for the white paper bag in front of him. He held the bag in front of him but he stopped short of using it. Instead, he did a complete about face, leaning towards her.

    She clutched her blanket and waited, horrified. She remembered praying out loud, "Please no. Oh, God no!”

    The flight attendant could not do enough for her. He kept bringing wet and dry towels, leaning over her two oblivious fellow passengers. When Alicia was somewhat cleaned up, she made her way to the rear of the plane.

    Though the blanket had taken the brunt of the mess, she smelled like pure vomit. She had a change of clothing in her overnight bag and the steward apologetically informed her that he would have the airline take care of her dress, as soon as they landed. She would miss the wedding perhaps, but she would make the reception after all.  She washed and dressed in the small cubical of a bathroom, fumbling and washing to get rid of the stench. She gagged the whole time. If anyone heard her, they would hold her totally responsible for the smell. She wished she could turn the plane around.

    After being informed that there were no other vacant seats, she slinked back to her unwanted seat, taking into account the whispers of the other passengers. The obnoxious child kept holding his nose, staring at her, while he munched yet another candy bar!  His mother had covered her face with a handkerchief. The nerve of these people!

Most of us know and probably have read "Murphy's Law." What could go wrong... just did.

                                                         
                                                                      The End