Sam Spade and Jimmy

He looked just like Jimmy Cagne the way his tie came to a stop half-way down his chest. His jaw worked sideways as he glared across the aluminum table at me. He said, “Wipe that smile off your face!”

“You mean, mug.”

“I'm not in the mood for jokes.”

“You mean gags?

“Where were you last night?”

I smiled.

He opened a manilla folder. “It says here your name is James Gallagher.”

“They call me, 'Shifty', though I never knew why.” I decided I was going to be Sam Spade.

“It says here you're eighty-eight years old and just competed in the Senior Olympics...? I don't know the Senior Olympics.”

“You never hoid of it,” I said.

He held up a proscription bottle in a clear evidence bag. “These were found on your person.”

“It's a frame-up, see.”

“Viagra,” he went on, still shaking the bag so that the pills rattled inside the fat plastic bottle.

“You grabbed them off the back shelf at Long's Drugstore sometime around eight PM, last night then hopped over the counter and ran a hundred-sixty yards to the lake.” He looked at me from above his glasses before he continued; “Then swam across the lake.”

I smiled.

“You're facing jail-time.”

I told him,” No tin-can can hold a guy like me.”

He smiled.

I was glad to see he had a sense of humor.

“You were apprehended at officer Morgan's house. In bed with his daughter!” He smiled again, “And you jumped out the window.” He was laughing now, “and... swam..." He tried for more air, "... back across the lake." He wiped tears from his eyes which was, by far, the best sign yet.

Then he told me to stay out of Long's.



300 Words