Without

Without

Last Sunday morning I woke up and decided there and then that I will start Cambridge diet that very day.
No preparations, no copious farewell meal of favourite foods. Just start.

And so it happened and, oh surprise, till today I am true to it. The fifth day.

Yesterday I had lost over five kilo's already, but sadly the scale's battery has given up the ghost, so no way to motivate myself by weighing today.

I think I can allow myself a bit of measured pride, though it is very early days, of course.


But now the other side of it.

Am writing so nice and civilised, not? But oooohhh, I am so frustrated, angry, depressed today. Grinding my teeth.
Arms burning with the wish to lash out at something.

Handling the foods for family and not able to take even one bite of it. Can kill the world right now!

So, the counter-attack of my food-addiction has started.

Don't ask about my mood! Don't be nice with me! Don't touch me! DO NOT BOTHER ME!
Man, I just wish to growl and snarl and curse each and everyone!


Or do I actually need to weep?


My friend, my dear friend Food, who appeased me through the days, has left me.

The oldest mate of my life. Wasn't I three years or so, when we met?

Got to stand on my own feet now.
And ought not mourn a friend, who wrapped me in mountainous layers of impossibility.