I Don't Know A Thing

prompt: lyrics to the tune of "Front Porch Swing"

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I Don't Know A Thing
(To the tune of "Front Porch Swing" by Dolly Parton)

By Indelibleink



I do not like eating potatoes au gratin
And other prison food too - I've eaten lots of things
Wasn't long before I started feeling rotten
Oh, how I miss our front porch swing

Oh, I'd plot every Sunday how I'd rob these rich ladies
Hide a gun in a big dress and try to steal their bling
Puncture car tires and maybe steal a few babies
But, I was the victim of a well thought-out sting

I did hard time when I joined the jailed ladies
Went there because a stoolie - like a sparrow - did sing
One of these nights, I'm bustin' outta here, baby
And, oh what joy my freedom shall bring

Though our words rang hollow when pleading our cases
Evidence from the stoolies lips, she no longer sings
Word is she just vanished, and we have smiles on our faces
Your Honor - I swear - I don't know a thing!

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