Alone

Alone

Zenthos was part human. He knew this, and at one time, he liked it. It made him unique from all the monstrosities that surrounded him. They were cold, thoughtless, heartless beings-- simple machines. They processed data and preformed tasks with brutal indifference, and were content to go on like this forever, but he was not and never would be. Zenthos’s mind was human. He had feelings and thoughts, not cold logic and harsh indifference. The indifference was what he hated above all else. And he was reflective. He had a computer’s memory, when need be, but he rarely used it. He preferred to know and learn and think as his human ancestors did. It was for this reason that he had created a log. It was his journal to chronicle his thoughts and feelings. And now, sad, lonely, and crushed with thoughts of what could have been, he listened to it again.

Day 314 of year 2245 A.D.

We received our first readings of life today. What should have been a joy was marred. The city was a decimated shamble of rubble, barren and cold. Winter had taken over and snow was piled on everything. The snow contrasted the dark soot-covered rubble. Any life form would find it hard to last long in such a state. The machines didn’t help my feelings of unease. They cited that the life readings could be as simple as the return of wild creatures to the area, but I know they are human readings. I can feel it. Humans are resourceful and intelligent. Some of them had to have survived. I can only hope.

We’ve sent out radio signals on all frequencies. We’ve even resorted to playing loud messages in all known human languages. We’ve had no response. While this is disappointing, it’s what I suspected. I need to find more like me. Humans think and feel like I do. I need that. I know I’m only partly like them, but it’s been so long since I’ve had human interaction. I ache for it. I’m going back on the bow of the craft now. I want to be there the second we make contact. I hope it’s soon.


Day 315 of year 2245 A.D.

Our fleet of former warships pinpointed the source of our life readings today. It was very exciting. I want there to be humans. I submitted a request to the captain that I be allowed to go down with the search party. It asked me to take time to re-consider my emotional state. It was unsure I would function properly on the mission, especially if we found humans and they turned violent. Something, the captain said, they were known for.

Now, looking down at the rubble, it was hard to deny. They had decimated an entire planet. The world of humanity had forced the machines to band together and leave Earth before they too were destroyed, but though the machines vary in their tasks and duties, they had all been built with a singular purpose: serve humans. Even machines need purpose. I still remember the day. It was almost one hundred years ago today that I had boarded the ship with the rest of the bots and machines. I was not at first welcome. They believed that having the brain and form of a Human made me too like the humans, but they also knew that we would be returning to Earth, and that if humanity was to be salvaged, the machines would need my help. It is why I am here now. It is my only purpose. It is the reason I have spent these years tending livestock and growing food for the humans when we return.

For that reason, I must go. I will deliver my report to them tomorrow. I am stable enough for the mission. I only hope that the machines agree. They must…


Day 316 of year 2245 A.D.

Triumph! Victory! I have been given permission to go down with the search party. We will be gathering whatever life forms are down there. I am to be under constant supervision. My systems have been hooked to the ship’s knowledge base and if it is deemed at any time that I am unfit to continue, I will be brought back, but it’s the best I could hope for. The team needs me. I am the only one of us that has a human form. Tomorrow, we will be shuttling down to the surface. Now, I must prepare.

Day 317 of year 2245

Failure… Defeat… The mission should have been perfect. Our shuttle made a perfect landing and we discovered the life forms. There were twenty of them. When I saw human countenances, I was ecstatic to say the least, but they were not happy to see us. We were attacked. The humans threw explosives and fired crude projectiles at us. We withdrew before any of us were physically damaged, but for me, the damage is done. They didn’t care if I was human or robot, friend or foe. They only wanted me destroyed. We have plans set to go back, but not for me. This time I will be staying back on the ship. I can’t face them again. Not if they are so willing to return to the same violence that destroyed almost an entire race. It seems that their cruelty is never ending. I no longer wish to associate myself with them, though I know I am bound by the same nature and the same tendencies. What pains me the most is knowing that I am capable of the same cruelty. They cannot all be like that. I hope that the team is able to peacefully recover some of the humans. Then perhaps I can convince at least one of them that we are trying to help them, and perhaps they can convince me that not all of them are susceptible to such violence.


Day 318 of year 2245

We sent a second team down. This time, we did not pursue the humans, but are trying to allow them to come to us. We are broadcasting messages in every known language that we mean no harm and are here to help, but I believe that it will be a while before they openly approach us.


Day 327 of year 2245

We received contact today. A small group of heavily armored humans approached our broadcast probes. They asked for food, and didn’t seem to care who we were or where we were from as long as we gave it to them. We sent down a few small packages of food on a shuttle. The shuttle scared them away for several hours, but they came back, gathered the food and left. I have once again asked for special permission to go down to the humans, this time alone, and try and persuade them to come with us peacefully. I have not received an answer to my request, but I expect one soon. The humans have not been back since they took the food, but I am hopeful that they will be. We need to have someone there who can greet them when they return. I hope it can be me.


Day 328 of year 2245

I was chosen. Rather than a shuttle, I was sent down on a line so that it wouldn’t scare the humans. The wait was not a long one. Within an hour the humans arrived. Four of them were men and two were women. They were hesitant, and my presence seemed to make them nervous. The call for food, however, appeared to be overpowering.

I tried to speak to them a few times. They didn’t respond. At first I assumed that it was a malfunction of my verbal transmitters, having only used electronic communication for so long, but when I queried my tech crew about it they said that all of my units were functioning at normal capacity. I tried a few more times, but all of these attempts were unsuccessful as well. I decided to observe instead.

It didn’t take long for the humans to consume the food we provided, and soon they were gone. My crew began to pull me up, but I told them to wait and to send more food. I was certain that they would be back, and within minutes they were. The humans that came this time were different though, and there were more of them. Now the number was thirty-seven. Most of them were children. Six adults shepherded them.

The children ate faster than the adults; at times they nearly choked. I tried to contact the children, since my attempt at contacting the adults had been a failure. A few responded, but the result was often a swift blow to the head from one of the adults. After that, none of the children responded. None even looked at me.

Like the other group, once the food was gone, so were they, but now I was hopeful. In the distance I could see faces of half hidden humans behind the debris. Maybe we could lure them again. I called for more food to be sent down. When it was I took it, and made sure I was in full sight before placing it down.

“Food,” I said. I hoped it was loud enough to be heard. I didn’t want to be too loud and scare them, though.

I backed away. As I did, the humans came out of hiding. It was a smaller group than last time. There were eight, four children and four adults. I was silent while I watched them consume the food. When they finished, seven of the eight left like the others, but one, a female, lingered a moment longer and approached me. “Thank you,” she said. Then she left with all the rest. I was too surprised to respond.

To say that I was thrilled would be an understatement. I was more than hopeful now. Perhaps we could get them to communicate with us. Maybe we could prove that we were friendly. It would not be easy, but I wanted to try. I will never forget that simple “thank you,” and not because my memory systems are perfect, but because it affected me in such a strong way.

Our captain said that we would not give out more food today. We had made progress. I wanted to stay down and try again, but the captain decided against it. Captain believes that we need to move slowly to not scare the humans. As excited as I was, and as much as I longed for that human interaction, my logical computer side agreed. The humans are easy to scare.

Tomorrow I will be returning to the surface again. I will be given food, and I am going to attempt to communicate again. I hope that female comes. She will communicate with me. I know it. I can remember her face in my mind’s eye, and I will not forget it. For the first time that I can remember, I am committing something to my computer. I refuse to lose that face. I will see her again tomorrow. I know it.


Day 329 of year 2245

Communication felt better than I remember it. My logical opinion is that being away from it for so long makes it seem better than what it is, but another part of me believes that it was always this good, and that I had forgotten it.

Today I committed a second memory to my computer database. The conversation was brief, but it is not something I ever wish to forget.

The first group of humans that approached me for food didn’t respond to my attempts at communication. This made me fear that perhaps none would. Maybe the day prior would be the only time I would get to hear the voices of humans, but luck proved to be on my side. In the second group of humans, I saw her again.

“Hello,” I said, aiming it at any in the group, though mostly at the female who had spoken to me the day before. When I spoke she was the only human to acknowledge me. It was only a simple look, but it kept me hopeful. I tried again. “We give this food in hopes that we can help you.” I spoke in as non-threatening a way as I could, keeping it slow and soft. This time a few more looked at me. They seemed dubious. The female, however, gave a quick, small smile.

When the humans finished their feast, a few acknowledged me with as much as a look and a nod, but only the female spoke.

“Thank you,” she said. She paused and looked over her shoulder at her companions who were almost gone. “Who are you?” she asked.

I was overjoyed. “My name is Zenthos. I am here to help,” I said, slow and soft. “Can you help me?” I asked.

“I have to go…” the female said.

“Please, just tell the others that I and my companions want to help them,”

The female nodded and ran after the rest of her group. I hope she tells them, and more than that, I hope they will believe me. Tomorrow, we shall see.


Day 330 of year 2245.

They believed me, and yet I have failed. Our ship’s current course is off planet. The humans rejected me, and my companions have given up on the humans.

Today they returned for the feeding, but this time they brought their leader. He was a tall, muscular human, and was in better condition than most of the rest. He carried an ancient projectile weapon.
He spoke to me. “How do you mean to help us?” I could tell that it was a command as much as a question.

“My companions and I came here with hope to salvage the human population. We left during the apocalypse so that the human race could be saved. We return now to help those who survived,” I said.

“There are more of you?” the leader asked.

“Yes, many, though… they are different from me…” I said.

“Why didn’t they come with you?” he said.

“We feared that we would… scare you,” I replied.

“My people are warriors. We fear nothing. Bring them down,” he said.

Against my judgment, I called for some of the machines to join me. When they arrived, my fears were confirmed. The humans didn’t run, but I suspect that it was because of their leader. Their faces were fearful.

“Are you the only one?” the leader asked. He seemed disgusted. “Machines can’t fight. I need soldiers, not machines.”

“We are not here to fight; we are here to provide aid.”

“The only aid we need is more soldiers,” he said.

I gestured to the destruction that surrounded us. “After all of this, you are still at war?” I asked. I could not believe it.

“Yes, and we need men like you who can help. What sort of weapons do you have?”

“No. This fighting is wrong, and besides my… programming will not allow it… I am… partly like them,” I said, pointing to my companions.

“You are a machine?” the leader asked. He looked as if he would vomit.

“Only part of me, my brain and my mind are human, but because I am part machine, I am constricted by some of the same rules as them,” I said.

“You’re the same filth as them. The machines abandoned us when we needed them, and now you come back and try to take us over? No!” He pointed his weapon at me and fired. The lead projectile smashed into me, knocking me down.

The machines and I acted quickly. The leader continued to fire upon us as we retreated into the shuttle and left the surface for the last time. I watched as we flew away. As I watched, a second group of humans ambushed the group we had met with. The female, the only human who had been receptive of me, was killed. We will not be returning. It is the captain’s opinion that the humans cannot be reasoned with. I beseeched him to allow me to try again, but my request has been denied. The humans will not get our help, and I fear that without help they will be doomed. This is my final log entry.



Zenthos sat for a few seconds after the log entry finished playing. The ship was now thousands of miles from earth. The machines would stay in the solar system on the off chance that human civilization would eventually recover, and that they would again be contacted by friendly humans, but Zenthos was done. He could not take it any longer. His second to last request, the one to return to earth one last time, had been denied, but his final request had not. His request for a new computer had been accepted. By the next standard day on the ship he would be PXR-27A Beta. The human race would not recover. Zenthos was done being alone. He wanted to belong, but humanity was no longer an option.