Not a Rant

Friends! I'm in love, I'm in love with something, I don't know what!
Friends, I'm obsessed by MTV.
MTV, what a wonderful thing.
Friends, I haven't noticed your new haircut!
I heard Justin Bieber, and he IS a girl!
Friends, I've read a book or two in my life. So start hating!
Friends, believe it or not, I use my right hand for things other than to feel good.
Friends, I actually do believe that fat people are fat!
Maybe they like big-boned better, but big-boned people are extinct!
My friends, I've seen Avatar, and I didn't like it, except for the effects (excluding the fire, and the fire).
Friends, I do believe Lady Gaga has a bull-sized pair of balls. She should share with Beiber's fare.
Friends! I love--as do you--my mom and my dad.

Teachers! I don't believe everything you say, don't preach, this ain't a church.
Teachers, I actually do think teachers can be friends. Don't you?
Teachers, I would eat the apple on your desk.
Oh wait! The apple's fake!
Teachers, I honestly wanna learn more about music.
Yass! Music! I said it! And religion! And film, and my favorite people!
I wanna learn about television!
The Magna Carta affects those in the UK, not those in the US.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think I should learn what REALLY happens.
Teachers, get real, Let us chew gum, and screw homework. We go to school 1080 hours a year, we don't need homework!! And don't complain about grading projects, you assigned them!
Teahcers, I will bring God up in my conversations!
Teachers! I think you need a higher paying job!

Preachers! I do believe in evolution, what will you do about it?
Preachers, I understand, but I don't think jacking off is a mortal sin!
Preachers, I understand, but I don't believe it's a sin to feel good.
Preachers, I don't believe in social justice, I believe in equal justice.
Pastor, don't tell me I'm going to hell! I don't like being scared!
I get it, my preacher, but screaming won't get me to believe you.
My preacher, I believe God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, but I don't believe it because you say or a book, or my parents, are a lame old song, or anything. I believe because I choose to believe.

Family! I am lazy because I can be lazy.
I sleep late because I was having a good dream.
Family, I understand, and for that I love you.
Family, you are the salt of the Earth.
Family, I thank you for being there.
Family, I thank you for everything.
Kathy, I will go back to New York Town!
I love this blueberry pie, it makes me feel good inside.
I love you Grandma, you have the best stories.
Family, you are polar opposites, and like poles. Family, you've been there, and you haven't. Family, we have the best reunions.

Old folks! I am young, and therefore be kind, because I will take care of you before long!
Old folks, I refuse to respect you because you're older than me.
Old folks, I respect based on character and experience.
Yes, old folks, I love your music, your cinema, your fashion, your books.
But, old folks, I hate your dillusions of grandeur, your tone of voice, your hypocrisy, your idiocracy.
But! Old folks, the only things the old have over the young is this: One) You are closer to death [usually]. Two) You have more wrinkles.
Old folks, you need to get young again, and stay the way you were, when you had class, when you coulda been a contender!