Invite Reader to Party - Show Not Tell

Invite the Reader to the Party:
What Show versus Tell Really Means

Mary Rosenblum

Show not Tell – Craft technique of making reader feel like they are in your char’s world;

Must master show don’t tell – key to moving beyond slush pile

Most novices:
Dump information at beginning

SNT: also bedrock of character – especially POV character
Want reader to get to know characters the same way they get to know a real character
When you give readers your work, there will be a lot of blanks in their minds; figure out stuff from characters actions, thoughts and dialog
A place where reader has to do the work – same way people do in life – don’t spoon feed the reader
Cooperative effort between author and reader. Author provides clues and reader interprets them; author needs to help him Hard work to find right or good clues




Think about where readers are when you describe events
Narrative distance: difference in distance from reader to narrator
(I think that this is just a fancy way of saying what we generally think of as show not tell from a more exact theoretical viewpoint)
- if first person you must do it
- if third person – good idea
- gives character tremendous look at reality

Create zero negative-distance in fight scenes

1) don’t worry about in 1st draft
2) then go through it in later ones
a) what does character see
b) what does character think

think about what is going on and transfer it to page

Does your story have more 1) action or 2) internal reflection?
Balance between narrative and action; mix thinking with action
If lots of internal reflection use 1st person


1st person

Is really hard; You are in character’s voice – (Don’t use your voice)

Allows speaker to distance himself from everybody

1st person has to interpret what’s in characters mind to let reader know character
- give real world details that make world real and bring scene to life

Distinguishing feature - ability to see your work as both reader and writer - from telling them what they see, look like, etc

Need a lot of visual, musing and time
Passages:
1) What reader sees
2) What reader hears

Balance need for what reader and character need to recognize; if character has been there 1000 times before – don’t include; solution - only use what is new to character


Don’t switch from 1st to 3rd POV in the middle of a book or short story

Note - (The Story Comes First) - What matters is it has to work; can change story if it doesn’t work; Every rule can be broken but it can be very hard to make it work.



1st person memoir

Main problem: Author can’t create themselves as a fictional character

3rd person:

Limited 3rd person

Cinematic 3rd – in camera – eye in the sky;
Moderates impact
Useful for graphic impact or big battle scenes
Doesn’t work if you want reader to read about a person:
Not used a lot

Narrator 3rd Person

Author telling story:
Information only – needs strong narrative from author’s voice to do well;
A monotone – not seen much in fiction; only in creative non-fiction

Omniscent 3rd Person

Weakest one – Tells reader everything about all chars; loses suspense and diffuses readers curiosity.


3rd Person Limited

Type of 3rd person mostly used and what we think of when we say 3rd person

Seen through character’s eyes: if have to do any telling can keep it apart

In a novel: 1 character – 100% reader’s attention
2 characters – 50% per character of reader’s attention
10 characters – 10% per character of reader’s attention

Can handle with action and dialog;
Can do too much internal thinking in 3rd person limited;
Show and don’t tell means don’t narrate to reader

Internal thinking: Slow
Dialog: Medium
Action: Fast

Novices: Bad to go to all dialog; Visual component missing in dialog
Use action tags to show us instead of using “said”. Show us tone of voice.
Showing: Multi-layered; which details to show.


Physical Descriptions:

Mostly let readers decide; Can’t have big inconsistencies

1st person – have to get gender down
All – Have to get gender, age, rough physical description, and some distinguishing features


Dialog – 3 parts
1) speech
2) use body language
3) thoughts can be different from speech

Incorporate into scenes:
1) visual
2) smells – strongest – reader won’t identify connection but this is actually the strongest sense to use

In novel can mix in internal thinking.

Theses emotion words are not SNT’ing: Sad, Angry, Happy, etc
Examples:.
Sad-> The corners of his mouth drew down and moisture trickled from beneath his glasses.
Angry->He rose from the table, pounded it with his fists, and kicked the chair over.

Note - All a balancing act – Falling off fence on one side or other – eventually you have to learn to balance



Exercises for Show Not Tell she gave us

1) Write action scenes – Just write action showing reader this character has an emotion with action
2) Write show not tell exercises when your character meets somebody
3) Try to pick out details we remember in looking at the world; for example a person’s physical body
(Don’t do an inventory of what somebody looks like:
Build posture over course of action
Same with physical description
Can use comparison
Reveal characters size by what they’re doing
Don’t use eye color.
Forget looking in mirror.)

*** In a lot of these classes it was recommended for the writer to carry around a little notebook wherever they went and writ e down pieces of interesting dialog they heard and interesting descriptions of things they encountered along the way. It was suggested the author do this in even the most mundane of places. Then the author can dig them out and use them in their writing if it fits. Doing this by trying to show not tell using the five senses is a good thing too.


Good books for Show Not Tell:
1) Orson Scott Cards: Characters and Not Characterization

Screenwriting – depend on actor to express thinking with action