MANIFEST DESTINY Chapter 11.1

Chapter 11



         Ainsley worried about everything even though she and Gareth laid their plans well.  She went everywhere Gareth did in an effort to show everyone, Mr. Greenfield in particular that they were more than fond of one another.  Ainsley knew Gareth would be gone from her for four months, and already missed him with every breath she took.  It was still impossible for them to be intimate, and she wondered at Mr. Greenfield’s awareness of that fact.

         She watched Gareth get ready for the voyage as she made plans of her own.  As soon as he left the house, Ainsley went back into the office, to plead with Mr. Greenfield.  She hoped he would allow her to accompany her husband.  Something Gareth knew nothing about.

         It was a dreary day.  The whole morning threatened to be a continuous drizzle.  She stayed home as long as she dare, intent to still be on hand to see Gareth set out on his voyage.  She had her trunks ready to go, if all went as she hoped it would.  She would not stay behind at the mercy of Mr. Greenfield.  She didn’t trust him, even though Gareth had told her on more than one occasion that he always acted in the best interests of the shipyard.

         Jedidiah hitched the team while she got ready, and stood ready for her when she emerged from her room.  “We must hurry Jedidiah if we are not going to miss Gareth’s sailing.  I do not want him to think I do not care.  I said I would be there.”

         “Yes Mistress.”  He handed her into the wagon and handed her an umbrella to keep her as dry as possible.

         A short while later she opened the door to the office.  Mr. Greenfield looked up at her both surprised and pleased to see her, and closed the ledger he worked on.  “Mistress Taliesin what a pleasure to see you this morning.  I take it you are here to see your husband safely away.”

         “That is my intent yes.  I had also come to ask a favor of you.”

         “Just name it, if it is within my powers to act, I would be your most humble servant.”

         She could not stand the way he simpered, but if she was to gain anything that day she had to push her revulsion aside.  “I am sure you realize what a hardship it will be for me to have Gareth gone for so long.  I miss him dreadfully and his ship has not even left port.  Gareth told me how other wives accompany their husbands on voyages, and I was just hoping you would allow me to accompany Gareth on this short voyage.”

         “It is simply out of the question my dear.  Yes, I understand the hardship it will be for you, but you must understand that with the recent loss of your child it would be unfortunate if anything happened to you on this short voyage.  I know you plan on going with your husband on the voyage to England, and I see no reason why you should not.  As you said, many wives accompany their husbands on long voyages.  Besides, your husband will only be gone from you for four months.  By that time, you will have gained all your strength back and will be a welcome sight for your husband on his return.  I am sure you can be that long away from him.”

         “I know I am strong enough for the voyage.  Gareth made certain of that.  He is so good to me.  I could not ask for a better husband.”

         “I have seen the way it is when a husband and wife are separated by a long voyage.  No doubt, it will be the same for you.  He will have missed you as much as you will miss him.  Think of the homecoming you will have together.”

         Ainsley saw no way out of her dilemma.  “You are perhaps correct.  I know I miss him already and he has not left yet.  I will abide your wishes.  I am sure you are wise in this decision.”

         Ainsley turned to leave the office, her face a mirror of dejection that she could not persuade him in the least.  She would go and wish Gareth a good voyage, and have Jedidiah take her back to the homestead.  She would not come back to the port before he returned, regardless of what she had said earlier.

         She had her hand on the door handle when he spoke again.  “I know you would like to accompany your husband, but look at what happened on the first voyage.  I would hate to have something similar happen again, and the next time you could die.  I would hate to see that happen to so fine a person as you.”

         “Gareth told me what a good business partner he has, and I can see the truth of it.  I am going to go see him off then Jedidiah will accompany me home.”

         Ainsley felt a bit despondent about the near future.  All their plans, well hers would come undone and she could do nothing about it.  She chanced a look at Mr. Greenfield before she turned to leave and saw a look of hesitation in his demeanor, and a glimmer of hope surged through her.

         “Tell you what my dear, out of the goodness of my heart, and against my better judgment, I will allow you to accompany your husband on this short voyage.  I know the condition of the contract sits hard on him.  I have seen it in his demeanor when he thinks I am unaware of it.  Truth be told, nothing passes my notice.”

         Ainsley looked up at him in surprise.  “You would allow me to accompany my husband?”

         “It is obvious to me that you would be heartsick without him, and I have a wish to retire to my home further inland.”

         Ainsley could not believe the turn of events.  She looked up at him in wide-eyed amazement, unaware how beautiful she looked as he gazed at her.  “Thank you.”  Ainsley went to him and gave him a quick calculated peck on the cheek, and was not disappointed over the effect she had on him even as it repulsed her.

         The door opened to the office and Gareth stared at her as she straightened from her little show of gratitude.  “What is this?”

         Ainsley turned pale at his presence, left Mr. Greenfield to his own dilemma, and went to placate her husband.  “Darling, Mr. Greenfield is allowing me to accompany you on this voyage.  I am afraid I just got a little carried away by my most pleasant surprise.”

         Gareth looked down at her, and escorted her out of the office.  Mr. Greenfield stopped him before he could close the door behind him.  “But there is a stipulation in all this.  You must bring me proof the contract has been fulfilled on your return in four months time.”

         “Is this true?”  Gareth looked at her for confirmation.

         “Yes of course it is true.”  Ainsley felt very ill at what she had done, and left him to follow her as she left the office.  The chilling rain caused her to shiver convulsively as she almost ran from the office.

         Gareth caught her up, and turned her to face him.  “I have a mind to leave you home, and not allow you to accompany me on this voyage.  It is only a short one after all.  What were you thinking by that display?”

         “I was thinking about our future.”  Ainsley tried her best to stand her ground despite the dressing-down she received in front of Mr. Greenfield and members of his crew.

         “You will make me a laughingstock, by a display like that!”

         Ainsley had only been slightly aware of the headache that had formed a dull ache above her temples while she had been in the office with Mr. Greenfield.  The idea of his mere presence was enough to make her nauseous.  With Gareth angry, her head began to throb that much more.  She felt lightheaded and nauseous at the same time.  She had done her best and her best was not good enough.  She had luxuriated in a bath before she came to the harbor, long after he had left that morning.  She had donned her best gown, and had rubbed a rose scented lotion into her skin after her bath, but that too was to no avail.  What did she have to do to prove that she wanted to be his wife?  “I do not wish you to be a laughingstock.”  Ainsley turned to leave him.  She would await his return at the homestead.

         She thought he would be happy to have her accompany him.  She thought they made headway with their marriage.  She doubted everything.  He was still a hard man, with no love for her.

         Horace walked over to them and gained Gareth’s attention.  “It is only a short voyage, what harm could it do?  Take your wife and have a pleasant voyage.”

         Gareth looked from his wife to Horace, and finally agreed.  “As you wish.”

         “Who knows maybe this voyage will be better than the last one, and when you come back I can deed you the shipyard and merchant business as well.”

         “That is generous of you, but I do not want to risk my wife’s health with another voyage, and the possible loss of yet another child.”

         “That is not what caused the loss of the first.”  Ainsley looked between the two of them as her world started to careen around her.

         “No of course not,” Mr. Greenfield said.

         “Pirates attacked us.”  Ainsley reminded them both, as her head throbbed even more.

         “Of course.  You just take yourself in hand my dear, and have a good voyage.”

         “That will not be necessary, Mr. Greenfield.”  Ainsley’s face had become very pale.

         Gareth looked again at his wife.  “Mr. Greenfield said it would be all right for you to accompany me, so you shall.”  He turned to Jedidiah.  “Would you go to the homestead and fetch my wife’s clothes?”

         “Thank you.”  Her voice was barely above a whisper, as bile threatened her.

         “Let us get you on board out of this chilling rain.”

         “Yes.”  Ainsley saw Jedidiah leave, as she fainted.

         Gareth caught her as she began to slip from his embrace, and hurried up the gangplank to his cabin where he laid her on the bunk and waited for her to regain consciousness.  He paced back and forth, as worry lined his face.

         A low moan issued from her as she opened her eyes.  Ainsley looked into Gareth’s furious eyes.  She tried to sit up but a wave of dizziness accompanied by an acute attack of bile threatened her.  “I am going to be sick.”

         Gareth hurried to get the small bucket from the bathing chamber, concerned as she retched into it.  She collapsed against the pillows on the bunk and brushed the hair from her eyes, as he took care of the bucket.

         He returned with a wet washrag for her and bathed her face, as she lay in the bunk.  “How are you feeling now?”

         “Tired, my head is pounding.  What happened?”

         “You fainted.  What game are you playing with me?  I will not have the shipyard lost.”

         “I do not want to be left to the mercy of Mr. Greenfield.  He was planning to come out to the homestead while you were away.”

         “And what is wrong with that?  He is my partner.  He is only interested in your welfare, as he has been in the past with other wives who have been left behind.”

         “I am sorry.  I will go home if you wish.”  She felt ashamed of herself, as she tried to gain a place in his life outside of what he had already stated to her.

         “It is too late for that now.”  Gareth sat on the bunk beside her.  “I just wish you had let me take care of everything.”

         “We only have four months to convince him of a child.”  Ainsley reminded him of what he already knew.  “We need to make good not only on that contract but the other as well.  When we return in four months time we can convince him that I am pregnant, and you will have the price of this cargo to pay for the other ship and both crews.”

         “If you are feeling better, I am expecting company shortly.”

         She felt dismissed, as though what she said was of no consequence.  “If it’s business I will go to father’s cabin and wait until you have finished.”

         “That will not be necessary.  I would like you to meet Captain Alexander.  He is the one who attended me at our wedding and came to our rescue during the pirate attack.”

         “The Captain of the Liberty?”

         “The same.  He wants to meet you.  What happened that you look so ill?”

         “Like I said, my head is pounding, and you gave me a fright.  I did not expect you to be so angry at the prospect of my joining you.”

         “Well I am.  Next time let me take care of my own affairs.  If I want your meddling I will ask for it!”  Gareth spun on his heel and headed for his desk.

         A knock sounded on the portal and Gareth rose to answer it.  “Captain Alexander, please come in.”

         David entered the cabin, and saw her on the bunk.  “How are you?”

         Ainsley rose and joined them at the table.  “I am feeling much better.”

         “Ainsley, do you remember David?”

         She looked over the newcomer.  “Yes, though I remember very little of that day, most of it after the ceremony.”

         “Most enchanted,” David said.

         Ainsley allowed Gareth to seat her at the table.  “It’s good to meet you.  My husband tells me you are the captain of the ship that came to our rescue.”

         “That is right.”

         “We were just going to discuss the coming voyage and the plans I have for the shipyard,” Gareth said.

         “Then if the two of you wish to be alone to talk business I will take a stroll on deck.”  Ainsley stood to her feet, ready to leave them alone.

         “That will not be necessary since the plans involve you as well,” Gareth said.

         “You mentioned a shipyard.  I assume you are not talking about this one,” David said.

         “That is correct.  You are aware of the contract I presently have with Mr. Greenfield.”

         “Yes of course.  A contract that all along I felt was illegal.”

         “A contract is legal only if both parties sign it,” Ainsley said.

         “Yes, but your husband should have looked into the legality before he signed it,” David said.

         Ainsley glimpsed the scowl on her husband’s face.  “I am sorry for interfering.”

         David noticed the looks between the two of them.  “You would like my mother.  She is also a very strong-willed woman.  Father gave up years ago trying to bend her to his will.”

         “I know your parents, and I find it hard to believe he would allow your mother to dictate to him.”

         “In his giving in to her, she became completely submissive to him, and they have the best marriage of any I know.”

         “Yes, well back to business.  I will need to leave port shortly or Mr. Greenfield will believe I do not want the shipyard that will come of this voyage.”

         Gareth gave Ainsley a look that told her not to meddle in his affairs.  “I think I will go up on deck and watch for Jedidiah to return with my clothes for the voyage.”  Ainsley stood to her feet ready to leave the cabin.

         “You still do not look well, besides, you will catch a chill on deck.  It is still raining,” Gareth said.

         “The rain coming into port today has already chilled me.”

         “That is why you look so pale,” Gareth said.

         “I wanted to be on hand when you sailed.”

         “Yes.  Instead you nearly destroyed everything.”  He gave her a cold look as she took her seat again.  “At any rate let us get back to the business at hand.  I have had my eye on some property in Rhode Island Colony that would make a good place for a shipyard and merchant business.  You are a shipbuilder and I would like your hand in building one there.  My wife has an aversion to Mr. Greenfield and seems to think we will lose what I have already gained here by default of the contract.”

         “She is right, you could.  I am surprised he has not already claimed default.”

         “I still have four months before he can claim that.  In the meantime, we need to convince Mr. Greenfield that my wife and I are both expecting our first child.  Her father told me it would be unwise to get her with child so soon after the loss of our first.”

         “My condolences, I was unaware you had already lost a child.  Was that after the pirate attack?”

         “Thank you, yes it was,” Gareth said.

         “I remember you were concerned for her before I went back to my ship.  I am very sorry about your loss.  Her father is right it would be too soon.  I had a friend in England who lost his wife when they tried to conceive shortly after the loss of their first-born.  I told my mother about it and she told me that when a woman gets pregnant too soon after losing a child, or birthing one, she has not given her body enough time to heal from the first.”

         “It was real hard on both of us.”

         “You are an honest man, Gareth.  I knew that right off when we first met.  Let me think over the offer of yours to build a shipyard in Rhode Island Colony.  I will have an answer for you when you return in four months.”

         “Fair enough.”  Gareth shook his hand and saw him out of the cabin.

         Ainsley saw that he was still angry with her as he came back to the table and looked down at her with a look on his face she could not read.  “Do you think he will partner with you?”

         “You wanted a stroll on deck.”

         “Some fresh air would be nice, it might help my head, but as you said, it is still raining.”

         “So it is.  Jedidiah should be returning soon with your clothes.  As soon as he is aboard we will leave.”  Gareth turned his attention from her as he sat at his desk and waited for his steward’s return.

         “If you do not mind I will rest until then.”  She went to the bunk to lie down.  It had been a very difficult day for her, and she still did not feel very well with the chill she had gotten earlier.  “I am sorry to be such a burden to you.”

         Gareth gave a grunt at that statement, but kept his attention focused on the accounts.

         She was asleep when Jedidiah returned a short time later with her trunk.  Gareth let her sleep as he went up to the quarterdeck to take the ship out of the harbor, and left Jedidiah in attendance outside the cabin.

         She opened her eyes as she heard the door close, and noticed first how dark it was.  She heard the scratch of a match as Gareth lit the lamp on his desk, and turned her head in that direction.  “It is dark.  I am sorry I missed the sailing.”

         Gareth turned as she spoke.  He went to her side as she sat up in the bunk.  “I hoped you would join me as we left the harbor.” 

         “I am sorry.  I ruined all your plans.  I should have stayed home as you wished.”  Her face was downcast as she looked at the floor instead of at him.

         “Yes, you should have, but you did not.  Now do not worry about what you should have done and make the best of this.”  Gareth lifted her face to look into her eyes, and brought his lips down to hers.

         “You are not angry with me anymore?”

         “Incensed, but I had a lot of time to think while I was on deck.  You are right about one thing.  We need to prove you are with child by the time we bring the ship back into port in four months.”

         “But I cannot risk another pregnancy.  You know what my father and Captain Alexander said.”

         “You will not be.  I will not risk it, but Horace will not know that.  We will need to be the lover’s we showed ourselves to be over the past month.  Let him believe I was insanely jealous when I found you almost in his lap when I entered the office earlier.”

         “But you were not, were you.”

         “Furious, yes, but not jealous.”

         “Love is not a bad thing you know.  My parents loved each other very much.  I had always hoped that when I got married I would be in love also.”

         “Love is for fools.  I am not a fool.  Now if you are hungry, I will have Jedidiah get us something to eat.”

         Ainsley went to the bathing chamber to change a feeling of complete rejection at his brutal words, which caused hot tears to run down her cheeks.  She would not let him see how they hurt her.  “Oh God in heaven why cannot this man love me and accept me as I am?”

         “Come out of there.  Dinner will be here shortly.”

         Ainsley wiped at her eyes, and took the washrag, soaked it in the pitcher of water, and washed the tears from her face, before she opened the door to him.

         “Why did you not light a candle?”

         She walked past him to the table, and seated herself as he held the chair for her.  Jedidiah soon entered with their dinner, and Ainsley just stared at it.

         “Eat.  You will feel much better with food in you.”

         “Has it stopped raining?”  Ainsley picked up her fork and took a bite of the food, but it nearly gagged her as she attempted to swallow it.

         “Yes, just a couple hours ago.  It is a good thing we are heading south.  At this time of year it could get brutally cold out here on the open sea.”

         “There is a chill in the air.”  Ainsley pushed her plate away after only a few mouthfuls.

         Gareth frowned at what she left on her plate.

         “I am sure if we are heading south it will soon be warm.  I am going to retire.”

         Gareth watched as she went to the trunk, retrieved her nightgown, and went into the bathing chamber.

         “You will need a light to see with.”  Gareth handed her a lighted candle.

         She took it and went in the chamber, and set the candle on the small table that held the pitcher of water and changed.  She had chosen a dress that morning that would not cause her any trouble to unfasten, and slipped the nightgown over her head.  She hung the dress on a peg and with candle in hand left the chamber.  He was already in bed as she approached the bunk.

         “Come.”  Gareth pulled the covers aside for her to enter.  “Let us forget about our differences and get some sleep.”

         Ainsley slid into bed beside him, and snuggled into his embrace as he pulled her close to his side.  She was wide-awake.  She turned to face him, and noted that his eyes were on her as he brought his lips to hers.  She was hungry for the feel of him.  Despite the fact he scorned the emotion of love, she was very much in love with him.  She only hoped that someday he would feel the same for her.

         During the next week, they began their courtship of one another again.  They strolled around the deck, and looked for all who cared to notice that they were the lover’s they pretended to be.  Only Jedidiah knew the true state of affairs between them.

         They arrived at their first port of call, and Ainsley went ashore with him.  Gareth had wanted her to stay on board, but she wanted to stretch her legs.  In the company of her father, she walked around the village while Gareth met with the local shopkeepers and presented his cargo to them.

         “Are you happy?”  Ian strolled about the village arm in arm with her, and took in the sights of this southern village.  Gareth had told her they were in Virginia Colony, and would be there about a week, as they sold their cargo, and took on more.

         She could hide nothing from her father, as she looked up at him, a sparkle of tears in her eyes.  “He is not harsh with me papa.”

         “You went against his wishes.”

         “I know, but papa, I love him.  How could I stay at the homestead with him gone so long?”

         “I can see that you love him, and I think in his own way he loves you too.”

         “To him love is an emotion for fools, to be scorned.  It has no place in marriage.”  Ainsley’s voice held a note of sadness as tears fell down her cheeks.

         “And yet he openly courts you, keeping you within sight at all times when you are on deck.”

         “For looks papa.  Nothing more.”  Ainsley brushed the tears away as they made their way back to the ship.  It would not do for Gareth to see them, something she had not done in his presence since the first night on board ship.

         Gareth met them as they approached the gangplank.  “Did you have a good walk?”

         “It is a nice village.”

         “I have lunch waiting in our cabin.”

         “Did you sell the cargo?”

         “Yes, and I made arrangements to have a cargo brought on board to take its place.”

         “The whole cargo was sold?”

         “No.  Only what they need here.  We will be pulling out of port as soon as the new cargo is loaded.”

         “Do you have to sell all the cargo before we go back to Delaware Colony?”

         “Only the original cargo.  Mr. Greenfield expects me to return with my holds full for the voyage to England and Europe shortly after we arrive.  Are you interested in seeing what I sold the cargo for?”

         “You do not mind my looking at the manifests?”

         “No, I do not mind.”  Gareth regarded her a moment before he went on.  “You have not looked into the manifests for quite some time.”

         “Not since you found me reading them.  I thought you were angry with me for trespassing into your affairs.”

         He had a startled expression on his face at her revelation.  “You never looked into them again?”

         “No.  Do you want me to?”

         “I favor your opinion of what I do, especially now that we have so much at stake.”

         Ainsley’s heart sang at this open compliment.  All the while, she had been afraid to open either manifest for fear it would provoke his anger.  “Then I should be delighted to look at what you received for the cargo.”

         “It is good.”  Gareth opened the door to their cabin, and sent Jedidiah for their lunch.  “Let me get this latest transaction entered before you take a look at them.”

         She sat in the chair at his desk when he completed the day’s transaction, and noted the sum he named for the cargo.  She also noted the sum paid out for the current cargo they would receive in the next several days.  She closed the log and looked up at him as Jedidiah entered with their meal.

         “Well, what is your response?”

         “How much will you get for the tobacco and indigo?”

         “I can make almost double what I am paying for it.”

         “Double?”

         “It is in great demand in England.”

         “Will you be going to Scotland too?”  Ainsley felt an unexpected sense of homesickness as she remembered her mother’s kitchen garden, and the smell of the sea as the wind blew in off the North Sea.

         “I planned to go to all the ports when we go back.”

         “I am glad.  I miss it so.”

         He made no comment to that reply as he finished his meal in silence.  “I have duty.  I would like you to accompany me on deck.”

         “I would like that.”  Ainsley finished her meal and allowed him to put her shawl around her shoulders.

         After that, Ainsley could feel a change in their relationship.  He valued her opinion, and took her with him to the next ports as he discussed the cargo and the sum of each.  She never said anything while he bartered for each, but he was eager for her opinion when they returned to the ship.

         They headed to the West Indies.  Soon they would head back to Delaware Colony with another full cargo hold.  “What do you receive in the West Indies?”

         “I buy sugar and molasses, which is in great demand in the northern colonies.”

         They were on deck for a stroll after dinner.  The air was warm and the stars bright overhead as she looked across the vast ocean, her head against his shoulder.

         “It is close to Christmas Tide.”  Ainsley had read the date in the manifest before they had come on deck.

         “Only a week away.”

         They had left Delaware Colony the first week of November, and had spent the past seven weeks in as many ports.  Her eyes brightened at the prospect of Christmas Tide, and remembered the many happy years she had spent at home.  She realized she would never see Scotland again at that time of year.  It was much too harsh a climate to risk trading until the spring of the year.

         Gareth looked down at her.  “What is wrong?”

         “Oh it is nothing.”  Ainsley brushed the thoughts from her mind, and looked up into the sky again.  “I have nothing to give you for Christmas Tide.”

         “We will be in port in a couple days; we can look for something for each other.”

         “I should like that.”  She looked at him and saw desire in his eyes, and felt elated by the look.

         “We should return to our cabin.” 

         He kept her close and Ainsley felt his desire and reveled in it.  She wondered if their relationship had changed and he really had begun to love her.

         When they entered the cabin, Gareth met her lips in an urgency they could not deny.  She felt the buttons come apart at her back and soon he picked her up and carried her to the bunk.