A part of my life

Destiny, ah- I marvel at it sometimes! It’s a little strange, isn’t it? The way it works, I mean.  You are going in one way and suddenly you find yourself turning towards another, as if your will didn’t matter at all.

I smile, thinking about the role destiny has played in my life.

There I was, a '16 year old', studying science, unaware of what I wanted to be. Despite two years of struggling with Newton’s laws and chemical equations, I didn’t have a clue what it was all about. Life was just going by. High school finished in six months and I was still puzzled as to what I wanted to do with my life.

It was then that the idea of career counselling dawned in my mind. I thought I may as well give it another try, especially since the results of the first counselling session two years back now fully convinced me. I treaded on the very path I was told to avoid (taking up science) and landed myself in a soup. So I was very sure this time that I was going to trust the counsellor’s judgement and not go against it.

My search led me to a well-known career counsellor who also wrote articles for a career newspaper. Walking into her office, I hoped I had come to the right place. Giving someone else the power of choosing your career is a daunting idea. I took a deep breath and looked around. The walls were pristine white and bare except for a notice board that held newspaper cuttings of recent articles by the counsellor. The receptionist sat in a little corner that had a chair and a desk covered with few files and a phone. She seemed to be in her early twenties, bore a serious expression and was engrossed with the file work. She noticed me only when I stood right in front of her.

“Good evening. Can I help you, Ma'am?” she politely asked.

“Uh, good evening.” I was startled to hear her confident voice and suddenly felt very lost and timid. I worked up the courage to say, “I have an appointment with Dr. Mason at 5.”

She poured into her files and asked, “Ms. Jane?” 

“Yes,” I managed.

“Please wait for a moment”, she requested as she picked up the receiver, dialed the number and mumbled something, all in a moment’s time.

Oh my, she is quick, I found myself thinking.

“You may go in”, she smiled.

“Thank you.” I smiled back and walked towards the door.

As I entered the room, I was taken aback by how white everything was, from the wall paint to the furniture to the decor. I was shaken from my thoughts by a booming voice.

“Good evening, Ms. Jane. Please have a seat.”

“Good evening, Dr. Mason.”, I murmured.

“We have 45 minutes to ourselves and without wasting any time, I would like to know what brings you here.” she said.

I blurted a few facts about myself, including what I was doing and how I had no clue what I wanted to do. She listened patiently as I spoke.

When I finished, she asked me, “What would you like to do? I am sure you have something in mind?”

“Umm,” I wondered, “I would like to be an airhostess, but not forever, maybe for a while. I am interested in writing poetry. I love music and enjoy singing. I like photography. My interest also lies in psychology.” I shocked myself into silence.

Psychology?  I wondered. Where had that come from? I didn’t know what psychology was about, what it contained. Perhaps I had read the term in one of Dr. Mason’s articles. I prayed silently and hoped she didn’t ask me about psychology. It would make me look so stupid if she asked me anything about it and I had no clue what she meant. Thankfully, she sat scribbling in her diary and when she was done, she told me I would be required to fill up some questionnaires and do some tests to know where my intelligence and aptitude lay apart from my interests.

Tests! I cringed at the word, oh, not again. But outside, I smiled and said, “Of course.”

The next two hours I laboured over the questionnaires and the ‘tests’. They weren’t the sort of tests I had imagined. It was about me, rather than about mathematical questions and chemical equations. Finally, it was done. I went to Dr. Mason and handed over the sheets.

“Thank you, Ms. Jane. It will take me about a week to analyze all that. My secretary will give you a call when I’m done. It was a pleasure meeting you.” she politely said.

“Thank you for your time, Dr. Mason.” I replied.

Walking back home, I experienced mixed emotions. I sighed with relief at giving my burden to someone else but at the same time, I was scared what the results would say. My career, my whole life depended on it. I tried to get the unnerving thought out of my mind and got busy with school again.

Exactly after a week, I received a call from Dr. Mason’s office saying that the results were ready and I could visit. I took an appointment for the very next day as I couldn’t hold the suspense any longer.

It was evening when I reached Dr. Mason’s office. Air conditioning was at full swing but I felt beads of perspiration on my forehead. I wiped them as I approached the receptionist. She saw me and smiled, “Good evening, Ms. Jane. You can go in.” I thanked her and approached the door, my heart thudding loudly. I wondered if she could hear it.

Inside, I found that nothing had changed. It was as white as I could remember. Dr. Mason greeted me warmly and offered me a drink. I asked for water. My throat was parched. She began telling me the results of the tests, telling me about myself, where my aptitudes and interests lay. I listened mesmerized. Isn’t it funny, to hear about yourself from a person who barely knows you? I nodded in approval at many of the things she said about me. Finally she spread a sheet on the desk. It contained a list of careers ranked from 1 to 5. She pointed to the first one and I almost gasped when I saw it. In bold letters was the word “PSYCHOLOGY”. She told me how it was the perfect career choice for me, considering my interest and aptitude. While she was telling me about it, I was wondering if I should tell her, that I didn’t know what psychology was. But I decided against it. I didn’t want to look like a fool. I listened patiently as she pointed out to me the various courses I could do after high school. Next she went from career number 2 to 5. But I was hardly listening, thinking about the mess I had gotten myself into, cursing my mind for coming up with a word I didn’t know the meaning of, and that too at such a crucial point in my life. It took me a while to realize she was calling my name. I answered her, thanked her for her time, took the sheet of paper and walked out, all in a daze.

Back home, I surfed the net about psychology, career and options. For an entire week, that’s all I did. In the end, something made me go for it. I stopped attending my engineering coaching and focused on my final exams. Once out of high school, I filled out college forms for psychology. Thankfully, I got in, even with my dismal marks in physics. I did Bachelors in psychology, moving onto Majors in Psychology and presently I am doing M.Phil in Clinical Psychology. It’s been six years of studying Psychology and not for a single day have I regretted my decision. I have liked the subject, discovered my aptitude for it, found my career option and have lots of future plans in the field. But even now, when I look back at that day when I blurted out Psychology, I can’t help but smile and wonder at my destiny that brought me here, to the path I was meant to walk on.





Word Count -1391