Dialogue 500 - Cold Autumn Afternoon

Dialogue 500 Entry – Cold Autumn Afternoon

The waiting is the hardest part.  Every day you see one more card…

I hate it when songs get stuck in my head.  And I swear if she doesn’t show in two minutes, I’m leaving.  Why I agreed to this I’ll never know.  No, I know why.  I wanted, I need, closure but waiting in this park, dodging crispy leaves on a cold afternoon is not my idea of…I shouldn’t have come.  I can leave now, call her later and explain.  She’ll understand.  She always does.  She’s my mother, she has too.  She knows I'm going through a rough patch.

“Hello Paige.”

Oh!

“Hello mom.”

“I’m glad you agreed to meet me here.”

“Uh, yeah, me too.”  I think.  Didn’t I have myself convinced I was leaving?

“I have a few things for you. A few things that belonged to your sister and I thought you might want to have them.  I think she would have wanted you to have something to remember her.”

Still trying to get us to play nice I see? Well, it’s too late now.

“Oh.”  It’s all I can trust myself to say out loud.  I’m upset, but it’s not her I’m angry at, and she shouldn’t have to hear it.  I promised myself I wouldn’t do this to her.  She’s only trying to help and she’s suffering too.

“Your sister…OK, she probably didn’t want you to have any of her things but I think, no matter what your relationship was like, she’s still your sister, was your sister, and I would like you to have these things.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, I think they belonged to you anyway.  She’d steal anything of yours that wasn’t nailed down.”

“Ha! Yeah, she would.  Funny thing is that I would never even know she took the stuff.  She may have been a thief, but she always made sure to take things I wasn’t using and wouldn’t notice right away.”

“In some ways, I think this is harder for you than me or your father.”

“Oh.”  Why does this keep popping out of my mouth?

“Your father and I knew this would happen someday and prepared for it.  You wanted to deny it.  It’s not criticism; please don’t take it that way, it’s just a statement.  We all have our own ways of dealing with grief.”

“I know.  I really wanted her to get better.  I thought if…”

“We all did.”

“Now it’s easier to pretend it all didn’t happen.”

“I know.” 

I will not cry.  I will not cry.

“I love this park and so did your sister.  We used to walk here often.”

“You know me and nature.”

“You never did like the outdoors, not even as a child.”

“No.”

“Coffee?”

“Yes.”

“More talk?”

“We’ll see.  Let’s walk.  I’ll buy.”

Word count = 464