Apology

i’m only fourteen.
i didn't mean to hurt him
i didn't know,
i promise,
i was just having fun
         like any other kid

(but he was only thirteen)

it was supposed to be a joke
i didn't want this to happen
i swear
i was just kidding
         like everyone who says mean things.

(but he never knew that)

i'm not laughing now
i didn't think of what he'd do
i promise
i just thought of how easy it was
         to pick on him.

i never tho-
         nev-
                   never-

i will
         never
do that again

i swear

i'm sorry
(but he can't hear me)

on my honor
(oh God please forgive me)

cross my heart
(do i still have one?)

name any oath
(it's too late)

forgive me

(Oh God! please...)

i promise.

(36 lines)