Ecstasy, so little, so much power

Ecstasy

You know there are so many definitions for this one little word. Different meanings, different feelings. You know, the exact definition of ecstasy is overpowering emotion or exaltation. Usually people don’t need that. Everyone has overpowering emotion. I needed it. I needed it so badly I would have killed for it…

I wasn’t much of a so-called ‘druggie’; I just hung out with all of them. They didn’t care about anything, and I liked that. Life seemed so free when I hung out with them. With my usual friends, they cared about school, and what other people would think about them. They cared about life in general. Me, I wouldn’t care if I was going to die the next day. I just wanted to have fun. I wanted to be free. I guess that’s what I got. My parents cared about my future and what I was going to do to support myself. They grounded me, practically every day. You would think I would get a clue and try to help my grades, or stay out of trouble, but it was an addicting rush that I didn’t want to end. It was like a forever-lasting roller coaster, which never had a dull moment in the ride. There were plenty of loops and big drops. So I kept sneaking out to go hang out with my friends. Within a month I decided to go ahead and try all of the drugs they did, I mean they did all kinds of drugs, and they were still all right. So I did it too. It wasn’t like they pressured me, because really no one does that. It’s all in your head, and you’re the one pressuring yourself. Anyway,I smoked weed, I took acid, I did a little crack, heroin, and I even took some morphine. The one drug though that I got hooked on right away was ecstasy. It was just what I needed. It made me feel so good, and I had the best of time when I was on it. The best part though, was that everyone told me that they know people who take it all the time, and no one has even went to the hospital for overdosing on it. It wasn’t one of those things were everyone was doing it…actually not a lot of people even knew about this new drug. It was just a new fun thing, and it was mine.
After a while I couldn’t even get through a day of school with out just one of the little pills, which usually had a cute picture on it. I always had preferred the ones that had a heart or a smiley face on it. I needed it so badly during school that I would suddenly be in a cold sweat from with draw. So to solve the problem I brought the pills with me. My older friends gave me the weirdest looks some days. Of despise and hatred. I always took a pill at lunch, so for my second half of classes, I was in this daze and didn’t know what I was doing half the time. Eventually I got expelled. My parents wanted to kick me out, and I got fired from my job, so know I couldn’t even buy any more ecstasy. My life had turned into a living hell. I stayed home staring at the wall, and trying not to think about this drug that has ruined my life.

One night, during one of my with draw phases, I ran into the bathroom and took about fifty aspirin thinking it was ecstasy. I went to the hospital and the pumped my stomach. It’s funny how once you almost die then you realize what is really going on. My parents sent my to a rehab center for about three months. The people there didn’t know much about ecstasy, but helped me get through it all. I would like to tell you that I’m living a happy life now, but that would be a lie. Even though it was years ago when this had happened, I still have with draw phases. It’s hard for people to trust me and realize that yes, I have changed. My life won’t ever be as good as it was before, but that is my fault. Now I hear about so many people using ecstasy, and that they think it is okay, but it is not. Sooner or later, you will over dose, you will mix medication and die. This is all a fact. I don’t hang out with that group anymore, sadly most of them have died or just suddenly disappeared. Some of them are in jail or in some kind of gang. I am lucky. I learned. I hope you will also learn...only for you, For your future, for your life.