" Music In My Mind"

Still loving this music in my mind
Hiding from souls sorrow in fear
The shame of thought in lyrics
Invisible tragedy was within
My life has passed me by.

Though inner life was richer
Nourished in silence profound
I sought the glamor of the theater
The nature of the work my impressions
Hence my art was bold and violent a sign,

Being proud and timid detached
Resenting every intrusion
Never in public view
Now fading away
Into music of old,

Playing orchestration
My baton directing melodies
Joyous the opera with tenors singing
Measured alive in spirit of songs vibrating
Relative to time the music there never dying –

Could this lover’s confusion within me
Be more deliciously enhanced
By moonlight from above
The music in my mind
Envy and jealousy,

Since the beginning
It was never Beethoven
Scribbling furiously on the floor
The score was always on my mind
For me to publish it was my symphony.