Epitaph

Epitaph: A Memoir of a Magnificent Man & Mentor


November 06, 2010
Moving to Upstate NY in '69 was an incredible experience for our family of three brothers who discovered that a rural existence traded in for a former life in the suburbs of Long Island was optimal in many ways. I will never forget the first time I met John Proudfit who at that moment was speaking to my eldest brother Jack with the words of, "Jack ... how much do I owe you?" We 3 brothers were held to a contractual bond as caretakers to his country estate 'up the road a piece' for each week we trekked, biked, x-country skiied to his place nestled in the meadow there in Eagleville. Each Spring/Summer/Fall we mowed lawns, and took excellent care of his two beloved felines - Tiger & Satin. For the princely sum of $5 a week, plus an additional $5 per mow, we learned from John that being dependable was as good a foundation to build a friendship upon as any. He taught us, on the clay court out back, the value of being a competitor - few played as ferociously, with as much competitive sweat - as John Proudfit. Through it all, he remained for a short while, the ever-eligible bachelor ... and it was here that I learned what John did for a living - before I knew what the EPA was about, before it was fashionable to be environmentally-minded, he explained to me he was an attorney ... for the NYS Attorney General's Office in Manhattan. It dawned upon me slowly that all these values that John instilled in me and my elder brothers through hard work, honesty, being good stewards and excellent competitors would bear future rewards in all that we did, said and dreamed. Along the way, while one day cutting grass, I discovered John had brought with him from Manhattan a strikingly beautiful woman who dazzled me with her grace, British charm and warm smile. Sally Proudfit filled our days with an amazing ability to offer us excellent insights into what then was our teen minds - what was England like? What do you do in Manhattan? Are you an attorney as well? I remember the second time in as many weeks that I met Sally, I took John aside alongside the trout pond he had created and in a determined whisper, I told him, " Mr. Proudfit! Mr. Proudfit! She's the one! SHE'S THE ONE!" Everyone who knew John as well as I knows what happened next: he roared that distinct laugh, tall as the pines nearby, for I had found not only his spiritual center in agreement but my insistence on Sally as being the perfect match, coming from a sprite such as me must've touched the funnybone! Gawd, could that man laugh - powerful, powerful medicine in his last decades I am most certain. And lo, the match made in Heaven transpired and I, I witnessed many Christmases and New Years pass as the Mr. and Mrs. Proudfit began what many can consider a most wonderful marriage that touched numerous, numerous lives.

"How much do I owe you, Jimmy?", he said for the last time as I recall, as I embarked on my collegiate journey that would take me to 12 colleges and universities throughout the US of A. I was leaving behind Eagleville, all my friends, to study and chase tornadoes 'over Oklahoma Territory' as we joked together there in the foyer of the Proudfit home. Parting ways was so very difficult at this time, for my brothers and I had just lost our own two parents to cancer less than 10 months apart, and it was John and especially Sally's tenderness that helped right our ship during for what any child would claim was a perfect storm of dread and tragic loss. Were you ever both there for me, for Rick and Jack...

Years passed, and I returned to their idyllic home there near the Batten Kill River in 2004 and we once again had a wonderful weekend of joy and thanksgiving. I had become, at the tender age of 40, a Doctor, the first in the Murphy family, and John and Sally expressed their amazement at my achievement despite my near total hearing loss. With people like John and Sally in my past instilling values in our lives for years, no wonder I found the willpower and strength to succeed where few others dared...

It was then too that John dropped some bad news for me to accept - he had suffered from this illness he said, and now was in remission. Accept it we three did as best we could, and with the typical Scottish fight that he was renowned for, John struck back and gave his best against a foe that many simply would have succumbed to far sooner.

John Proudfit was and always will be in my mind a warrior of many strengths, of will and ways uncommon. To know him was to discover a level of kindness and decency within that YOU later could discover in yourself. He was an amazing enabler, a seeker of truths, a lionheart among lawyers many.

But best of all, John Proudfit was my friend.

With John - if you wanted an opinion - you certainly got one.

Once he ventured into vying for political office, and there is no doubt that the mark he would have left in that venture would have been extraordinary. I, a mere country child, knew little of such things ...

Today, as I write this, I feel an amazing sense of loss that no doubt is mirrored by the many who have left their hearts in their words for the entire world to see and read. We all admit that mere words somehow cannot possibly honor such a great person as John was to all of us.

There is something that I left out, but I will do my best.

John, I say this with all the love I can muster from the wellspring of my heart; from all those days and weeks, months and years, each time you've said to us boys - "How much is it that I owe you" - comes the response, true from the heart and soul.

No John, it's what we owe you - to your memory, to the confidence you instilled in us, to the ethics of what you strove for, for the things you loved.

We owe you the entire world.

In closing, I look to my favorite author who, in his wisdom, encompasses what I think John too would agree and admire.

It was John Burroughs who wrote, " I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order".

Beloved friend, you are in a better place now, beyond hurt and worry, with what St.Paul wrote as being a place of 'joy unspeakable'.

As Christ Jesus no doubt speaks to you with the words you have told me many times,

"Job well done ... job well done".

Rest in peace.

- Dr. James Murphy