BREAK Introduction (1)

Introduction
Part I
Chapter 1

Loneliness can be depressing; yet, I can't help but to drown myself in it. Having no one around and hearing nothing, I’ve grown used to that. People often call me shy, but that's not the case; it's just that I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want anyone around and I don't want to hear anything. The quietness, loneliness, darkness, it's all I surround myself with. Worrying only about myself is bliss too. I've grown to dislike humans, people, man-kind, or whatever the term for them is. I am sick of them and their lies. They smile like the whole world is fine and not their concern, yet, they cry for that same, fine world to comfort them and care. Selfish, that's what people are. The only thing that matters is their own satisfaction; no one really loves anyone meaning that no one really loves me so therefore, I don't really love anyone.
I barely have any family with me anyways. My sister's off in college, my mother died when I was seven, and my father's always away on business trips so I pretty much live alone. The large house is always just that, a large house. There's the living room where I eat my meals and the dining room where I read my books. The kitchen that I always keep full of food but only cook my own dinner about three times a week since I usually eat canned, packaged and frozen foods. Upstairs is my dad's room where I never enter and a guest room that's never been used. Next to that is a bathroom and the room farthest in the back is my room with only a bed, desk and few drawers. But that's only a facade.
My real room is in the attic, where I keep all of my truly precious things. But most of it is my books. There's shelf after shelf of books on nothing but dragons, pirates and magic. Nothing but adventure since nothing else catches my interest. It's stupid how the main character always has things go his or her way, even if they die, it is never in vain because a happy ending is achieved. Once I start reading, though, I can't close the book until I've read the last page, the last word. But I know that there's no such thing as a "happy ending". The only ending there is, is when that person dies; once there's "nothing" left and are eventually forgotten.
I'll be forgotten too, someday, so there's no point in me trying to become someone who'll help the community or have some noble purpose. I'll just do what I have to live on and make enough money to survive. The only thing that matters to me is myself, the real "me" and not the other "me" who everyone thinks I am. No one else's options matter to me but mine.

Chapter 2

I wake up in the morning to the sound of my small alarm and get up. I get dressed, put on my glasses and head to the bathroom. From there, I go downstairs and grab a small granola bar and a glass of water for breakfast. As I chew the last bite, I go back upstairs, to the attic, and pick a book that I'll be reading. Since it was a weekday, I select one of the smaller, faster-reading books, give the room one last glance and go into my regular room to grab my back-pack and textbooks. I make sure I have my key in my pocket and start walking to school, locking the door behind me.
I see three other guys and four girls from the same school also taking the same route. If they were in front of me, I'd equal my pace to theirs, but if they were behind me, then I'd walk slower and let them pass me by. For the fifteen minutes it takes to reach the front gate, I let my eyes wonder to look at the clouds, the trees and flowers.
Once I reach the school, I head straight to my locker, take the books that I'll need and leave the one's for the afternoon classes. I make sure my backpack is closed right and walk to the end of the school where the science building is. I walk up the stairs from the outside to where there's a small balcony in front of a door that's never opened during the eight hours that I'm at school. No one ever walks around here so I make myself comfortable and begin to read.
Soon, the bell rings and I make my way to my first class, History, where I take my seat, up front, last in the row. The teacher starts talking, so I take notes. Next is English, where there's vocabulary test. When the test was put in front of me, I take out a pen and start circling answers. I am the first to finish so I take out my book and begin to read. Science follows right after; the teacher gives the lesson, so I take more notes. When the bell finally rings, I gather my things and go over to the math building. I sit at the very back and I can barely make out what's on the board. Everything's in the text book anyways so I read that and finish the lesson faster so I pick up where I stopped reading. The teacher sees me and calls me to solve a problem written on the board. I walk up, take one look at the problem and start writing the answer. The teacher doesn't bother me after that.
The bell for lunch rings but before I can get up, two girls approach me. "Do you want to eat lunch with us?" They ask.
I smile at them kindly, "Sorry, but I need to go somewhere." Then I stand up and walk out the classroom. I head to my locker and change books before heading back to the stairs behind the science building. I gaze at the scenery of buildings and trees before I begin to read again. By the time lunch was over, I'd already finished half of the book. During the studying period, I am able to get through two-thirds of the book. Art is the last class where I take a seat next to the window and start to paint the blossoming tree outside. I can feel a few people giving me glances to see what I was painting, but I ignored them. From the lowest branch, I used the softest colors to paint a thin and delicate girl, sitting and reaching for a flower. I didn't finish it so I leave it in the back of the room for the next day.
School is over, but I go to the music room where I am a part of the orchestra, playing the violin, first chair. I play for half an hour, repeating the same part where others messed up. I don't need the practice, so I leave my violin in the class. I head back home on the same route I went to school on. Once I am in the kitchen, I heat up what was leftover from the day before and eat while I do a sweep throughout the house, making sure there is no huge mess. Then I walk up to my room, get my homework and finish it all quickly in the dinning room. I already had my book there, and by the time I finish reading it, it is seven. I organized my work for the next day, take a shower, and prepare my clothes for the next day.
I go under the covers of my bed and make myself comfortable. I looked up but can't see the ceiling in the dark. I sigh, Today, I'd said six words more than usual.

Chapter 3

There's no such thing as true love. Love is just a different form of happiness and self-satisfaction. One loves another because it gives the pleasure of touching, kissing, and using that person. Everyone wants that feeling of pleasure that they call love. It's all made up, an illusion from the brain.
This earth is made of suffering, so why do people cry when someone finally escapes this place and goes to a better place? I don't understand that. It's a good thing people can't bring the dead back to life because everyone would be dragging back one another from that happy place with the excuse that they love them. No one wants what's better for the other, they just want themselves to be content.
I believe this, so why do I feel the seven sins floating over me? When I see other's "love" towards each other, I feel envy, hatred, and greed. I want whatever it was they have. Once I have that though, I feel disgusted and remind myself that it's all make-believe, that I don't need it. So I close myself from emotions like "love". I can still hear what my girlfriend said when she left me, "you don't love me, do you?" There's just no such thing. I did not cry or try to call her. We just never spoke to each other again.

Chapter 4

There was a new student at school. I noticed him because he was in three of my classes. All of the girls couldn't stop talking about him, the handsome new guy. He was tall, with light brown hair, green eyes and well-built body. As soon as he smiled at the class and introduced himself as Evon Souden, I disliked him right away. It was easy to tell that he was a happy person that liked to talk and fool around.
I never intended to talk to him, never intended to get mixed up with him. But I knew that wasn't going to happen once he was assigned to sit next to me. That was the beginning, where everything started to go wrong.