Playing With Hot Dogs

282 words

Playing With Hot Dogs

         I spent twenty years in the Navy, and saw many pranks pulled during that time.  One of the best pranks happened when I was eating lunch.

         In Nineteen Seventy Nine, I was stationed on the USS Sargo SSN 583.  In January we put to sea on a six month ‘WestPac deployment’.  Now you have to understand that crews mess on this submarine was very small, it held maybe 16 men.  Right next to it was a small berthing area, with a door that opened in to crews mess.

         While eating lunch one day, I heard a small commotion, and three or four shipmates came running out, followed by a half dressed shipmate who was yelling an expletive laced tirade about how he would get them all, he’d kill them, do all sorts of things to pay them back.  I asked around, and finally found out what happened in berthing.

         Apparently this man slept in a middle bunk, which was just about hip high to a man standing up.  We were having ‘Alabama Red Dogs’ (hot dogs) for lunch that day; someone saw him sleeping in the bunk, his head hanging over the side, mouth wide open.  Knowing we were having hot dogs for lunch, they took one of the hot dogs, cooled it down, then rubbed it lightly over his lips.  When his eyes fluttered open, the hot dog was gone, and one of the men was standing there with his zipper down, and ‘it’ hanging out, as if that was what had been rubbing his lips moments before.  It was one of those things where you had to be there to appreciate the true humor of it.

Jim Dorrell
1/19/11